My Funny Valentine

This happened. My little girl.

I called the ball & chain to tell him I was running late, he had picked up L from school and by all calculations he was home. He was not. He was out. Why, you ask? He just picked the kid up from school and "ran an errand." I asked the same thing. Smart, people. And so the story goes...

"Well. After I picked up L, we went to the florist. We picked up flowers for you."
  

Inner monologue: WHY in the world are you busting the secret? 

"So, she carefully picked out each of the flowers. She was really into it. Then she asked if we were picking out flowers for Maria {our au pair}. Of course we did and she was very specific which flowers she wanted for her. She was into it. When we went to pay she turned to me and asked, 'but Daddy, who is going to surprise me with flowers.'"
To which, his heart promptly melted. 

He had a follow up question and she had more heart melting one liners. 

Him: "L, what's your favorite flower? I don't think I know."

Her: "Um, I don't know. They're all so pretty. They make me feel so special."

 
Of course he was out, getting his girl some flowers to surprise her with. This kid? She's too much. And for whoever she ends up with in life? I hope they are ready for her.  

Put to the Test

We are looking for a new car. You know what isn't fun? Looking for a new car. It's needed though, maybe you don't know. I am driving a completely inappropriate car for a mom of two. Let's be honest here; it was likely inappropriate for me to be driving it when I was a mom of one. While I love my Volkswagen Carbio it's time to get serious.

I've said from the beginning: I don't care about the color or make.  All I wanted was a third row and low car payments. We rounded out the decisions between a few vehicles and ended up going with a Toyota Highlander. It's glorious, but the road to the glory was interesting.

Long story short, we were going for the lowest monthly payment. My husband & 4 year old did a first round. One afternoon they went out, talked with people, got quotes and test drove vehicles. It wouldn't be a surprise, if you know the kid - she loved the process. Candy at every turn, fancy new rides, riding in a booster seat? You could have told her she was at Disney and she would have believed you. What did I like? They came home with a car payment under what we wanted to pay. I mean, other than free. 

Fast forward a few weeks later when we are ready to sign on the dotted line, it turns out the deal he researched was the basic model. It comes with a steering wheel and four wheels and it turns out they don't actually make that car much.

Ah marketing ploy how I hate thee. 

Just as we are about to walk out, they do a search. And they found one. One vehicle that would give us the lowest car payment. Oh, but don't forget about the taxes so it really isn't as inexpensive as you think it's going to be.

Ah marketing ploy how I hate thee. 

"But before we move forward let's take a look at the color..."

He proceeds to talk about the color, calling it maroon. I ask if it's red. He makes a face and says, "Ummm. Let's go take a look at another car in the same color."

We go out to the car lot and start walking toward a car that can only be described as purple. He tries to tell me in some lights you wouldn't be able to tell, to which my only response can be, "Sure, in the dark." As he continues to try to sell me on the Barney mobile I try to explain that he might as well be showing me an orange car. He tries to tell me it's more of a 'wine' color to which I respond, "Sure, purple wine."   There is a back and forth. I make clever wise cracks, he doesn't get me. Rinse & repeat.

 

At the end of the day, it went a little like this:  "I did say that I didn't care about the color.  This is putting me to the test. You can say whatever you like about this car, in which light it would look like what.  The bottom line is I will always know, in my heart of hearts, that I am driving a purple car."

Not only was it a purple, as if that wasn't bad enough, it had cream white interior.  You would think they would be paying ME to drive that bad boy. You'd think wrong.  

I was put to the test.  Guess what the score was?

We didn't get the purple powered truck.

Coughing Up Flame

L is getting her first ear infection. I should consider us lucky. It's her first one in all four years of her little life. I have a hard time seeing that silver lining when she's hogging the blankets in bed and spending the wee hours of the morning coughing on me or (bad breath) breathing on me until I finally give up and get out of bed at 5:30 am. That said, even tired and fearing what germs are making a home in me - she is hilarious.

In preparation for our doctor's office I started asking questions. What hurts? ETC.

Me: "When you cough does anything come up?" 

L: "Yup. The flame. I have it." 

Me: {thinking} "OH you mean phlegm."
L: "Yup. Flame. In my thought mouth."

Just when I thought it couldn't get weirder up in here, I have a fire eater. P.s. she meant phlegm. Naturally. And no, she isn't feeling a burning sensation, she just thinks phlegm is flame.

Merry MERRY

Yeah, don't even get me started how far behind I am. Good news? I'm here now, m'kay? Let's hug it out. 

This year we had our second annual, we ain't going NOWHERE Christmas. Of course, this one was different in that we didn't have visitors. This was one was special. Dreamy.* Wonderful* and just what you think when you think "Damn. That was a relaxing holiday." It's also where we learned we have holiday rush PTSD. 

Example:
Christmas Eve our plan was to go to the fish market.  I know, we are landlocked - what are we DOING going to a fish market. We asked the kid: What do you want to eat for Christmas Eve? She answered, "Lobster." Look, my kid has champagne taste, we indulge. It's the holidays. I digress; we had to go to the fish market and the Hill. The Hill is an Italian section of the STL and we heard full of delicious. We figured if we couldn't have Arthur Avenue food, we'd have the Hill for Christmas dinner. That morning as we were getting on our way the husband & I started to feverishly rushing around. We had to go. We had to go fast. We were running late. We wanted to get on our way earlier. Go GO GO!

Wait. WHY are we late? Where did we have to go? What is the rush? We had ZERO plans other than the two stops we had to make.

We seriously had to check ourselves.

You know what that is? PTSD. Loud & clear.  Look at those faces? HOW can we be stressed with those FACES?
So we chilled out and had a lovely day. Fast forward through (surprisingly) delicious lobsters and we let L stay up late and bake cookies for Santa. Her entire body was filled with Christmas magic.  It was palpable and completely indescribable until it happens to you.  Last year was great, she got it - it was fun.  But this year? This year you could see it in her eyes Christmas freaking spirit. And when I tucked her in to sleep, I cried. Big baby that I am - I just couldn't wait for my baby to experience what was to come. 

Christmas morning, went a little like this. All of it? Pure magic. 

• Present opening - between "Santa" (aka great deals), family, and friends it took close to 2 hours for my methodical kid to open her presents (and her baby sister's). While it may look like she got a lot of stuff - Santa wasn't only thrifty - he was practical.  
• L got to eat candy before breakfast and have Christmas cookies for breakfast (she is still talking about this amazing Christmas magic).  She asked nicely. I said sure. She looked at me in disbelief.
• We sat around a fire. We drank coffee, had breakfast (for those of us skipping on the cookies). We watched a movie - we stayed in our PJs. We had antipasti for lunch and then. We took a nap. All of us. CHRISTMAS.MAGIC. 

Finally we got up, got ready (jeans, baby) and sat down to a lovely Christmas dinner. 

LOVELY.

 * I would be remiss if I didn't mention while the holiday was dreamy it was also something of the best of the situation we were in. Of course, if given the opportunity to see family at our house and share the magic with family or friends we would have gladly shared the magic.

Sleep Tight

Truth: I hear "only you" often. This story should be filed under "only me."


Monday night I put my babies to bed and spend my evening waiting for JJ to wake up. She always wakes up at 11, so why go to sleep before that? 11 came, and went. Midnight. See ya. And just when I said to myself, "Self - forget it. You can't wait up for her to get up. Go.To.Bed." I got a text. 

A Tornado Watch has been issued for St. Louis
county until 1/17/2012 7:00:00 AM. KSDK.com

I signed up for alerts. Great idea. Oh yeah. Sleep tight, nighty night. 


Did I mention the husband was gone? The one who wakes up when a twig breaks three yards over? He wasn't home. Me? The tornado alarm could be going off and I would sleep through it. 


Oh wait. That's (not) funny because it's true. 

I proceeded to wake up every hour on the hour - just about. At one point L started crying, I ran to the room thinking it must be the storm that is scaring her. Nope. She was twisted in her blankets. (You can thank the bad puns on not getting any sleep.)

She fell asleep quickly, but soon after I was up again because of the sounds coming from outside. If I didn't get up to see it for myself, I wouldn't have believed what was happening outside.  It was hail, but it sounded like full fledged vehicles were slamming up against the windows.

Guess what?

No one woke. Not ONE peep.

The next morning, JJ awoke refreshed and ready to attack the day. 11 hours that little B slept. 11.HOURS. For the first time in her 5 months of existence PW (post womb). Me? I was a hot mess of exhaustion but the kids? They were well freaking rested. 


Only.Me.