Saturday, September 27, 2008

Herstory Chapter II: Little Pill Big Wait

Thursday, September 27, 2007

1:30 am

Mother Goose checked in on me frequently, and told us to get some rest- but I was anxious to get this lill'pill everyone was talking about and get the party started. Little did I know that the doctor wouldn't tromps in until after 1:30 am. Dr. Doom and his twitchy assistant- we called him Sally Jesse. Sally definitely shaved his whole body, had an annoying twitching thing and glasses like Sally Jesse, thus the nickname. He was an interesting mix of tourettes and Eurotrash. Dr. Doom had zero bedside manner and just wanted to get the job done. These are the first of many visits to strip me down of my dignity and utter the fateful words I would hear for the next 72 hours, "you are going to feel a little pressure."

Sally also knocked on me, which was strange. He literally took time to knock on my limbs and torso- as if he was expecting something to knock back at him. It was strange, and when I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation, he couldn't understand what was so funny. Dr. Doom and Sally gave me the first of the little pills, and with that I had to be checked frequently, including my blood pressure every 15 minutes. Mother Goose came in to make sure we were comfortable but with all kinds of monitors on and a blood pressure cuff trying to squeeze my arm of regularly, this was difficult. And this is where I lost my sh%t the first time. She came in and whispered, "is everyone comfortable?" She might as well have spit in our faces, and my reaction to her was as if she did.

The night rinse and repeated - every 15 minutes the cuff would squeeze my arm off, I would cry because I was exhausted, Mother Goose would come in and check in, Dr. Doom and Sally would check me every 4 hrs to see how I had progressed- they would find that I still had not progressed. Eventually Mother Goose realized I was not going to get any rest and changed the torture of the blood pressure cuff to every 30 minutes. I missed the Cheerleader at this point.

I was told by Dr. Doom, no personality, "with a long and tight cervix like mine, this could take a day or so."

Stupid cervix.

6 am

Before the next shift of doctors took over, Dr. Doom gave me my second little pill. Thursday was a slow day. Much of the same, a revolving door of nurses and doctors, everyone taking a peek to see how the pill progressed me, and it didn't. Doctor after doctor would come in, sit on my bed and let me know “you are going to feel a little pressure" and pressure I felt, but dilated I was not.

2 pm

I was given a meal. Since nothing had kicked in, they wanted me to eat a bit before they hooked me up to anything else. A hospital boxed lunch never tasted so good.

At some point they started me on pitocin, the pills weren't working so the pit was the next step. With the pit came more checks, and a continued drip of fluids, as I remained dehydrated. At this point I'd been sitting and laying down for longer than I have ever been still. When I needed to use the b-room I had to call the nurse in, get unhooked from my various monitors and hobble my IV and myself into the room. The fun really got started when they started to measure that as well. To add insult to injury I had to get a "top hat" put in the loo to catch it all. It was then measured and recorded. When Mother Goose came back on shift, she was assigned to me again and would note what I could expect to find in my "top hat" or give me praise for what I was producing. All of this, not helping.

At the start of this journey I took notes of funny things that happened and notable characters along the path, however we never thought it would take this long. I didn't move along much at all on Thursday.

8 pm

When we knew we were going in for the induction we didn't call our family and let them know to avoid the masses just sitting and waiting in the waiting room. We specifically requested that they not come until we called, and when we called- for them to respect we didn't want people in the room until the baby arrived. Unfortunately as we discussed this with everyone, it became clear quickly that that wasn't going to be respected. The anticipation of the little ones arrival was a bit too much for everyone to stay away until we were ready. We decided to circumvent the system and not tell anyone what was going on until we left them with only enough time to make it, to meet the new arrival. That was the plan. That being said, now that we had been in the hospital for 24 hours it seemed wrong to not call. We didn't think it would take this long. We called the troops and asked that they not get in their car and come until we knew more about the timing, because it had taken this long already who knew how much longer it would take.

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