Friday, May 21, 2010

Fear of Eggs


Picture it, my senior year of college my roommates and I sat on the couch -  watching TV – likely a little General Hospital, our afternoon jam.  There were 5 of us total in that apartment. 4 official roommates and a squatter. Shaniqua, Leona, Emilita, me and Liza. For fun, that's what we'll go with.* 

Shaniqua sat on the smaller couch chomping on the just debuted Doritos 3D.  About 15 minutes into her snack I looked over and thought I’d sample the tasty treat – asked for the bag and begrudgingly  she handed it over. 

As I dove into the bag I realized that there was slim pickings, as she had devoured the bag with the exception of a few crumbs.  Before I could give her a hard time my hand, as it searched for more than scraps, had more freedom than expected.  My hand went through the bag.  As I inspected the issue it became clear that Shaniqua was not the first in the house to snack on the 3Ds.  The corner of the bag was completely chewed out – so large that it was with no effort I could reach through the bag and wave to my unsuspecting roommate on the other side of the room.

And wave I did.

Confused, I had to explain that the little bitty teeth marks and the missing corner of the bag indicated to me we had more than 4 girls & 1 squatter living in this apartment. I was no Nancy Drew, but the clues seemed to tell a story.

Shaniqua jumped off the couch and started dry heaving.  As I died laughing at the sight of such a reaction I went outside to talk her off the ledge.  As she dry heaved into the bushes outside our front door her fear was vocalized and my hysteria only increased as her fears were explained.

“Oooh my god!!!!! What if I ate mouse eggs???? Will mice babies hatch inside my stomach??????”


*Disclaimer: All true identities have been changed to protect the guilty.

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