In high school I was friends with a girl that used to say "I'm a bitch, if you don't like it, then don't be my friend." Oh hell, that drove me nuts because she was a bitch and I didn't like it - but damn if I could walk away because I like real people, however much they piss me off. She's one of the few kids I still keep in touch with - sure it's mostly through Facebook - but that counts. Real messaging not just inviting me to plant something in her garden or cook something in her kitchen (explanation for my non-Facebookers out there: these are references to stupid games people play on facebook that irritate me. Please tell me you know what facebook is).
Why do I blog? It's a space I can be me and not apologize. It's the naked truth in a place that you can love or leave - though I do hope you stay awhile. I write how I talk because I like to tell stories and sometimes there is no sentence structure that works for all that I need to get out and spelling, grammar and keeping it clean doesn't cut it (that was on purpose).
Writing makes me smile.
For most of my life crazy things happen to me and as I tell the stories that are my life I have been told I need to write it down. "You need to write a book!" they would say. I'm not disillusioned that there is a book somewhere in here. I'm a editors nightmare. Let's be honest. I have, however, always wanted to write the stories down. I journaled (Dear Diary style), but I'll be damned if I can read my handwriting. For as long as I can remember I thought, "write that down." Then there was Doogie (yes Doogie Howser, MD) who would dear diary each night - was Doog the first blogger?
I started blogging because I found myself with child and mis-era-ble. Confession: if you emailed me in 2007, just so you know, your very detailed email reply from me was most likely a result of me cutting and pasting to several people giving them an update. I thought it was more personal than a mass email. Frankly when I sent mass emails you'd always respond and part of my reply would address why I was mass emailing. I was being kind to both of us.
I decided to cut out the middle man all together and write it out. I've never, in my life, felt better. I am a writer, however in progress and process I may be. I am passionate about words and evoking a response. Even if it comes to me by way of emails, phone messages or texts. P.S. I want you to comment, in case you haven't heard.
I love the connection and finding those connections, however virtual. Reading like minded people or those that are different but speak my language.
I read over at Aunt Becky's Mommy Wants Vodka (or Bud Light, if you ask me) who was inspired by Cecily to ask the question - Why do you blog?
I feel at home. I feel saved. I've talked at length about all this, but having this outlet took me places that I don't think I realized at the time. I have my memories and my stories to share. I'm just starting the journey.
I'm not a follower. I want to be the kind of woman I want my daughter to be. There is always a little wiggle room, if you ask me. I'm going to listen up and be real. I'm going to write hard and do it for me. It's who I am, and if you don't like it - then don't be my friend. Seriously though, dude, I'm pretty cool - stay awhile.
*This post was updated 9/17/2010 to recognize some fantastic women & sponsors - the SITS girls and to the sponsors of the Back to Blogging event. Go check them out - Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen & Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances.