Saturday, March 9, 2013

Disasters of mommy dating: episode 1

Background: I realize, after posting this, that you don't know all the little stories. All the little stories that tell the larger one: I'm terrible at making friends

The worst.

Which is weird, because I think as a whole I have awesome friends. Conundrum, indeed.


In an attempt to find some friends and get involved at my kid's school (not in that order) I responded to an email to hang up pictures throughout the school. I never heard back. Days, if not weeks passed. Honestly, I don't know - but it was over a week at the very least.

As I waited for the kid one day at pick up I overheard two moms talking. The long and short of it was: one was the person I replied to and the other has the same first name as me. Mistaken identity hijinx ensue and the mom with the same name as me agrees to hang the pictures as my email had said I would. I know all of this, because I'm eavesdropping so can we say awkward for me to get 'in' on this opportunity to hang up pictures (seriously, this is all about hanging.freaking.pictures).  But as you might have guessed, I'm desperate - so awkwardly I walk up to these two and essentially say "I over heard you guys talking - I think I'm the one that sent that email." AKA: I was listening in on a conversation because I have no friends, but I don't know why. {sarcastic font}

Fast forward: the two of us both get wrangled into hanging pictures.

I show up, only to find there is absolutely no organization of our efforts.  There is another mom with me & my namesake. We are all handed one roll of tape, almost empty. The inner control freak in me just wanted to make it all right. It took all I had to keep calm and smile on. So what if there were no instructions with the piles of paper we were handed?  So what if we weren't given the right material to hang up said piles of paper.  So what if I had to go door to door begging for tape or staplers? Time I could have gone back and gotten the right damn supplies at my own house.  So what if we put up the papers and had to take it down and place it in another area based on pre described disorganization - several times? The good news was that me & my namesake hit it off.

She invited me & the kid over, for a play date. Our first in good ol'Cleve. When the kid got in the car, that fine day and I told her we were going on a play date you know what her first response was?

"You are kidding, right?"


We went. They played. It was nice. As we were leaving, the kid & I went out the backdoor. I waved goodbye as our host thanked us for coming. My arm went up - I waved hard and slipped into a puddle of mud.  From my elbows to my ankles. Covered.in.mud.

This, among many reasons to come, are the reason I can't make friends.

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