Thursday, April 9, 2009

A Heart Stops

There is tragedy everywhere. This past weekend while watching the news, I started to snooze but couldn't find a way to tune it out. I realized in that moment the reason why I don't watch the news and get my updates from People and PinkIsTheNewBlog. Life can be too depressing. Twitter, for example, is an outlet for entertainment. I follow those who while aren't always sunshine and roses, are real and seem to be my kind of people. A few friends and a few people whose blogs I read. There is something to be said to not feel so alone. To read the words of other moms, woman, and people who sometimes seem to be in my head. Yesterday, I took a look and started to see random updates I didn't understand. A girl named Maddie, in the hospital. I clicked through and saw some updates and posts about her time in the PICU. It brought me back to our time in a hospital and I thought I might email Maddie's mom & dad, send my prayers, thoughts, good juju her way when I got home. It's good to not feel so alone, even if it's a stranger standing with you.

I got home, looked in on homeslice, pausing for a minute.

I got ready to write the email, had to find where to send it. The updates seemed familiar, doctors doing rounds, monitors, nurses, abbreviations I've seen before, some I haven't - you train yourself to scroll down than up to read as if like a different language updates have a direction.

"They're going to intubate her, I'm freaking out"

Madeline Alice died that day, unexpectedly and sudden. I don't know these people, but unexplainable as it might seem, my heart stopped for them. I ached for this family I have "known" for less than five minutes. I read more about their journey and it all looked so familiar, the destination one I don't understand. How could their little girl be taken from them? It's all so strange to feel so much for a stranger, to ache for another.

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