Monday, October 26, 2009

Heard & Quoted

At school (Noah'sArk) L participates in music class. They have a song where they go around the room and the teacher prompts, "What's your name and what do you do?"

Miss Irina, her teacher, went through the circle and when they got to L they asked "What's your name and what do you do?"

Answer....

"LLLLLEEEEE. NOAH'SARK!"

Apparently there was no set up or prompting. And some of the other kids said their name then puppy or horse.... take that. My kid is a genius and what does she do? She goes to school... learning how to be a genius.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Not the Whole Story

Today I went to a baby shower - one of my BFFs / roomies / home girl/ sister all the above and etc. Another one of us is biting the dust and turning into a family. The moms around the table told tales of the offspring, the good the bad the ugly. Mostly the ugly.

On the drive home I started thinking about it. Boy did we talk about the ugly. It got ugly ugly - all birth story and sht. Never pretty. And not even my whole dang story, but we had three not so usual experiences.

I'm thinking we just sterilized 3 potential mommas. Not 100% but wouldn't be surprised. For some reason we focused on the non working epidurals, the poop and lack of sleep.

We didn't really talk about all the feel good, warms your heart and makes you crook your head to the right sighing "awwwe." We didn't talk about that unexplainable love, feeling complete, getting hugs and giving them, when your baby learns how to give you noseys or how to say "love you" (today ... she said I love you. First time. 10/24/2009). We didn't talk about snugging, or singing songs or dancing. The good times, the funny, warm & fuzzies.... nope just non working epidurals, the poop and lack of sleep.

I decided to video coming home. Quick. Easy. And my very own "awwwe." Wish I got the first I love you, but I'm thinking actions speak louder than words.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Just Call Me Kate

Daycare thinks we are divorced. Jon & Kate Plus 8 ... minus the douche husband, bad haircut and 7 kids.

It's official. I am a horrid mother.

I thought - if you got things out there, it made you feel better. Communicate and all that. Not so much.

Last week (I think) I brought L in the for the first time in a few days possibly weeks because I've been traveling. As I was putting her lunch bag away in the refrigerator I heard the teacher say, "Oh L, are you staying with Mommy this week?"

I didn't really connect until I was in the car, and what was I supposed to do? Go back in, pop my head in the class and say what?

"Um excuse me, it's me, Kate. I just want to clarify we're actually happily married. Sure we travel all the dang time, and while our plan was to move so that this wouldn't be the issue and it has in fact been compounded and worse than it has ever been... but anyway. The best laid plans.... anyway so we are happily married. FYI. OK - by L see you later, love you! Bye!"

But I could have been mistaken. Right?

Yesterday, it was confirmed yesterday.


When I went to pick up L and found a poster on the cork board with the question:

"Do I have a house and who lives in it?"


EACH and every kid in the class is listed with their answer. Well each and every kid...with the exception of L.

Think I'm making this up?


Yup. That's right. I took a picture of it - to show you I wasn't crazy. It's really blurry because I was sneaking it but you get the idea. Either she has no idea who she lives with or they didn't want to ask her? I don't know.

Just call me Kate. Looking forward to the contract negotiations, lipo, and the paparazzi. I love those bastards.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Simple Things

2 months ago a movie came out that I desperately wanted to see. To be able to see the movie, I needed to finish the book. The Time Traveler's Wife was out and I had to read the book first. First I had to start it.

I went to over 4 book stores to find the book. While each store HAD the book, none of them had the book with out a shout out that said "Made into a motion picture" OR with a picture of the film's movie poster instead of the original cover. Little known fact about me, book covers are important to me.

I finally purchase the book, read it and plan to go to see the movie in September. Instead of going to the movie, I get fall down drunk the day before and instead of going to the movies I have to work on a Saturday later than I thought I would because I got a late (way late) start. No movies for me.

In Connecticut, there is ONE movie theatre playing it, 30 minutes away. I decide I'll take Thursday & Friday off. Turns out I don't take the full day off - I'll take 1/2 Thursday, full Friday. Turns into no Thursday, full Friday... turns out I'll do 1/2 Friday.

I leave in the nick of time to arrive to the movie theatre (30 minutes away) - but can't find the movie theater. According to my GPS - I keep missing it. Back and forth I go until I see an abandoned strip mall.



I go in and drive through only to see a sign, by the looks of it printed out by a color printer on it's last leg of color cartridge. By following the sign, I find another sign. A wood plank salvaged from a junk yard with red paint stating... the "Cinema is OPEN."

Horray?

After making my way through the pot hole aka the parking lot I walk in with minutes to spare for the 1pm showing.... that was until the ticket sales person, popcorn counter person and clean up crew (all the same person) informed me, through one side of her mouth, with drool dripping and one eye going in one direction and the other going in another... that the show started at 12pm.

Wouldn't you know - they didn't update their online account ... strange. With the titles of the movies hanging off of the marque and pot hole filled parking lots in movie theatres behind buildings where serial killers go to soothe their inner demons... this place doesn't update their movie times.

Back home I went, only to turn around a few hours later to see the movie. I'd give the movie a B-, popcorn a surprising B, accomplishing my goal A+. Ahh the (not so) simple things.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Travel Hex

Picture it. 9 am Sunday morning. A glorious day and just one errand before I get geared up to travel for just about a week to New Orleans for work. The last time I had a roommate for work ... I had 2 people who hated me for 3 days straight because it turned out that since I had last been their roommate I have taken on a new hobby of snoring.

"If that is what you call that noise that you were making... sounded like a lawn mower running over my head."

In preparation for another roommate I went to Target to purchase some supplies... nose strips to ease the noise and sleeping pills to hopefully knock out anyone in earshot of my lawn mower. I got carded, at Target, to purchase the pills. Who knew?

Who knew that this would be a saving grace.

No ID. No license. But "no worries" I had almost 4 hours to find it... it must be somewhere.

It was nowhere.

I called my manager to give her the "good news" and she said, "you can get on with your passport." Like I could find my valid one? I joked and asked if my expired passport would work, from when I was 10. No dice.

Then she suggested my birth certificate... which I last remember being with my valid passport.

I called the airline to get the next flight out (there were none that day) and told the operator my story. She told me it turns out I don't need my picture identification. A credit card and social security card "should" do the trick. With 14 minutes to go - I took a shower (necessary) and packed everything I own that was clean in 2 bags. Hindsight would tell me I should have packed in ONE bag or put 1/2 work clothes in 1 of the carry ons and 1/2 in the other I would check. Ahhh.... hindsight.

I rush to the airport and go through security. After presenting said credit card & social security card the TSA Agent wants to see everything else that has my name. Ask you and you shall receive! I present my library card, AAA membership (expired), insurance cards... then my expired passport, my social security card with my maiden name AND my picture ID for work. In addition to all of this he needs to see more to see the connection between my last name and maiden name. The piece da la resistance? A copy of a receipt from my ATM showing a check made out to my maiden name cashed into my account with my married name. Success!


Do you feel safe? I got on a plane with this beaut.

But it was time to celebrate!!!!

On the flight and off I went! Even posting on FB success....

ME: Wheels up- bradley. Dulles here I come!!! (have mercy on me it's been a long day already) October 4 at 2:29pm via Facebook for iPhone ·

ME: Hahahahahhahahahahahah. Just got delayed will likely miss my connection flight. Haha? Let's laugh. October 4 at 2:44pm

It went on from there. I was finally able to learn from a United flight attendant who frankly didn't speak English all that well that I would arrive 20 minutes before my connection flight and all she could do is let people know that there are people who are connecting and to stay seated - but I would likely not get out on time. See, I was the very last seat of the plane ... hindsight, there you go again. I was asked if I wanted to bump up for $19 and I thought that was "silly for such a short flight time."

Haha. Silly.

What was silly was me pushing my fat ass out of that flight, down to the shuttle and waiting over 5 minutes for the damn shuttle to go. THEN running my (again) fat ass down concord only to get to my gate and find that "they left" ... oh but the magic of technology would tell me that isn't so. See, I was texting with someone in the flight who was giving me the play by play. I got to my gate BEFORE flight take off time (but after boarding time, to be fair) and BEFORE they shut the door of the cabin but the bastards at the gate told me otherwise. Ahh... how they didn't know I had the power of technology behind me and was texting with a passenger in the plane who was able to confirm they hadn't shut the door yet or geared up to take off.

Fun. I was delayed and didn't leave the airport until 7:30 pm and was made to pay for my own hotel. Shame on United, their horrible customer service and even worse options to make right the situation.

Gah. They lost my luggage even though I was told 3 x in person that my luggage was IN New Orleans and again 2 x when I called in and spoke with a United representative only to find out once in New Orleans that my bag was on it's way... from Dulles. Because according to that person, my bag was pulled. Oh, they had time to pull my bag, but not let me on the flight?

You know, never once, did anyone really even apologize.

I don't know why I even bother.

(c) 2007 all rights reserved. aka don't be a D and swipe any content, photos, etc - sucka. Should you be tempted, let me know so I can be flattered and then give me something write about.