Me: "OUCH!" (mumbles.. probably some kind of mixture of curse and nonsensical words)
L: "What's wrong, Mama?"
Me: "Nothing much, just the baby."
L: "The baby's kicking you?"
Me: "Yup. Everyday. All day." (trying to NOT seem as angry as I might be)
L: "Can I see?"
Me: "Sure, but you really can't see the baby kick, just my belly move a little." (I lift my shirt)
L: "Yeah. The baby's scratching you - I can SEE!"
Me: "You can't see the baby!"
L: "I can see the scratching!" (she points)
Me: "Awesome. No. Those are stretch marks - not a scratch...."
L: "It's a scrape it's a scrape! The baby is scraping you!" (Note: this may sound like she is saying in a horriying way - not the case, almost excited & facinated combined.)
L: "Okay, let's cover that belly now."