I learned it by watching you!

Me: "L, can you please help and pick up JJ's toys?"
L: "Damn it!"
Me: "What'd you say?"
L: {slowly} "Damn.It."
Me: "Where did you hear that?"
L: {confused look, perhaps} "I don't know."

I let it go for a few minutes. I didn't want to yell right away. I wanted to check in, figure out where she is learning this. It isn't us. I mean, an occasional shitake - I would believe. We usually scream some random word (like SPAGHETTI! or MATZO BALL) directly after to take attention away from the under the breath "shhhhiiittt" that sometimes escapes our lips. Nana Lu heard that on Oprah or Dr. Phil or maybe it was the Wendy Williams show. So you know, that's what we do now.  Sometimes we'll put in a totally innocent word in the right place with the right emphasis - missing the ability to freely curse. Some of my favorites:

• "That's some spaghetti!"
• "Mother FATHER." 
• "Oh my goose eggs."
• "Freakity Frack."

It does the trick in a pinch, but it's nothing like having the freedom to drop an F bomb with passion as it is intended. I imagine this is what it must be like for people who use those electric cigarettes. You probably feel foolish, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

But damn it? I checked in with her a few minutes later.

Me: "No, seriously, L. Who says 'damn it?'"
L: "Um. You, mama. I didn't know it was a bad word. I didn't know. You say it, mama. I didn't know. I won't say it again."

I mean, she might as well have screamed, "You, alright? I learned it from watching YOU!"



Spaghetti, this is some Mother FATHER matzo ballz.