Picture it. 9 am Sunday morning. A glorious day and just one errand before I get geared up to travel for just about a week to New Orleans for work. The last time I had a roommate for work ... I had 2 people who hated me for 3 days straight because it turned out that since I had last been their roommate I have taken on a new hobby of snoring.
"If that is what you call that noise that you were making... sounded like a lawn mower running over my head."
In preparation for another roommate I went to Target to purchase some supplies... nose strips to ease the noise and sleeping pills to hopefully knock out anyone in earshot of my lawn mower. I got carded, at Target, to purchase the pills. Who knew?
Who knew that this would be a saving grace.
No ID. No license. But "no worries" I had almost 4 hours to find it... it must be somewhere.
It was nowhere.
I called my manager to give her the "good news" and she said, "you can get on with your passport." Like I could find my valid one? I joked and asked if my expired passport would work, from when I was 10. No dice.
Then she suggested my birth certificate... which I last remember being with my valid passport.
I called the airline to get the next flight out (there were none that day) and told the operator my story. She told me it turns out I don't need my picture identification. A credit card and social security card "should" do the trick. With 14 minutes to go - I took a shower (necessary) and packed everything I own that was clean in 2 bags. Hindsight would tell me I should have packed in ONE bag or put 1/2 work clothes in 1 of the carry ons and 1/2 in the other I would check. Ahhh.... hindsight.
I rush to the airport and go through security. After presenting said credit card & social security card the TSA Agent wants to see everything else that has my name. Ask you and you shall receive! I present my library card, AAA membership (expired), insurance cards... then my expired passport, my social security card with my maiden name AND my picture ID for work. In addition to all of this he needs to see more to see the connection between my last name and maiden name. The piece da la resistance? A copy of a receipt from my ATM showing a check made out to my maiden name cashed into my account with my married name. Success!