Monday, December 28, 2009

Confessions

For some strange reason I am misunderstood. My jokes are sometimes left in silence and my humor thought of as sarcasm. Not that done in jest but of the language of el diablo.

For the record: just in case - I do love family time. I do love the fact that we have so much family. I am thankful. I am even thankful for the real El Diablo. Who knew? My baby girl (toddler, fine she is a toddler) has the most loving grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, friends of friends - let's be honest she is easy to love - and I'm grateful. And while I do love quiet time, I do love the loud times. I love the laughs, and even the annual arguments and all the mayhem truly does make me smile (in a happy way, not in a sinister way).

The reason I don't want to travel for the holidays is two fold. I really do want our family to start our own traditions and because.

Because who the hell doesn't want Santa to come to their house? Sure I left a gift - so that she would know that fat bastard knows where we live - but whatever. She should know he knows where she lives - though some of our near and dear still don't (read here sarcasm meant in jest not El Diablo speak).

Because we have spent the last few years traveling - complaining all the way. Together but never together. It's crazy maybe I've mentioned why before?

Because I have spent the last 30 years traveling and I don't to. Insert foot down and proceed with tantrum. I don't want L to feel the same kind of pain. I remember making treks only an hour or two to not one but two families in a day - and it was no laughing matter. We're laughing now - but how long will said laughing continue? Do I think she'll suffer the same fate as I? Running to the bathroom to cry suffering through yet another evening of family fun, never to hear the end of it? (story for another time) Probably (hopefully) not. She doesn't have to run to the bathroom crying (story for another time) to feel the sheer tension in the 110.5" space as we travel 456 miles – about 8 hours 9 mins with no traffic (Christmas miracle alert if there is no traffic over the holidays) in the span of just a few days. Packed to the gills with presents for others or for us. Amazing generosity that I appreciate - that we appreciate. Yet selfishly I remember my favorite holiday to date that I want to replicate.

Picture it.

2007.

The preparation. The execution. No seriously. Picture it.

That's what I want for us. Gooble Gooble.

And that doesn't mean I don't love people enough. Enjoy it all - in one way or another - it's not about you. It's about a family starting off on the right foot. 'Tis the Season.

2010. Doors are open and hotels are taking reservations.

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