Sunday, October 7, 2012

Why I hate moving. Part I

Edit to note: I understand this is way late. It's important to our story. It's a major chapter, and may explain why Ive been so busy. This is just one week. How could I not take weeks to recover?
Now that I’ve gone all rainbows, unicorns, and happiness – let’s get down to brass tax. For any “normal” person, moving sucks. For me? The laws of “Murphy’s Law” do not apply. It’s Murphy’s Law on steroids – and the ranging violent, aggressive behavior and mood swings of steroids. Wait, is there a plus side to steroids? I digress. Here’s a list of all the shit that went down over the course of the move (give or take a week. 7 days, people, with one exception).  If you follow me on twitter, this may all be a review, but due to character limits I now have the ability to provide my commentary.

It’s like a DVD extra disc extra, get excited.

Week of September 13th – Move week
  1. Move, so we start it off right, by movers pushing UP pack day. Yeah, that's not inconvenient at all.

    Commentary: When we moved the first time, we lived in a house with ½ the square footage as the one we moved into in St. Louis. We had 2 days to pack, 2 days to load with 4 people each day. When we were told it would take 1 day to pack and 1 day to load, we questioned this and asked, specifically (side note: word of this whole post is SPECIFICALLY) “are you sure that’s enough (insert reasoning)” and was told “more people will come.” A day before we are scheduled to have the crew arrive, they look at the paperwork and realize that they need more time.
     
  2. Tuesday I get a call that the kid fell at the playground and she is swelling, fast.

    Commentary: While nothing was “broken” I’m fairly sure it was severely sprained – if not in that moment of falling off the monkey bars, in the daily (if not multiple times a day) falls she executed on. She wiped out, seriously, at least once a day through out the rest of this post. I am not exaggerating. Fell on wet floors, dry floors, up stairs, down stairs, flat land, into walls and doors – it.was.CRAZY.TOWN.

  3. The movers arrived, and while the last round of people MOVED fast, these people were light speed. Within 4 hours, they got 98% of the house done. The second day went just as fast. They told us, while originally the move in date was the following week (Monday - Friday), they now anticipate a Saturday (the day after they leave with our stuff) move in. That’d be great, if not for the fact that we were planning on arriving into Cleveland on SUNDAY (the day after they’d be there).

  4. Wake up times began at 5 am. For over a week. Perhaps this is why I wake up grouchy. This does not include JJ's sleep "schedule." See NON-schedule.

  5. My schedule was so jacked up, my check list of to dos so long, one night I called and ordered dinner. Cause it was on my to do list. Issue? It was only 4pm.

  6. There is a part of cluster frames, Pinterest doesn't show you.

  7. Our movers apparently didn’t noticed the one year old.

    Commentary: How do I know? Evidence. Everywhere. Including tiny little choking hazards as far as the eye COULD see. Including pest little one year olds.

  8. Our cable box cords got packed.  So for a few days, sure I was annoyed that I'd be hit with fines.  Mostly that I had no DVR or OnDemand. It felt like camping.

  9. The movers came, and in addition to not thinking they will make the Saturday estimate (relief felt for approximately 1 hour) - they realize their truck is not big enough. They are going to need a bigger boat truck.

  10. In the rush to pack as much as they possibly could, the first casualty of the day came in the way of the tv in our au pair’s room (22 years old). One of the movers informed us of the broken television by letting us know, “I dropped your daughter’s tv.”

    Commentary: I look old enough to have a 22 year old. FML.

  11. The overflow truck came and the entire time - they complained. 

    Commentary: They didn’t realize how much stuff we had (me, in my head: dude, I’ve heard this before - that’s why you are HERE).  They didn’t have the right equipment, blah blah blah.

  12. Before they left - the driver had me sign for the overflow truck. I noticed, over his shoulder two televisions still remained on my floor. At that point? He tells me he can’t take the televisions and can’t I bring it with me. To say I lost my shit, is an understatement. Homeboy did NOT know what hit him - and the cursing I did made the crew blush. The televisions found their way onto the truck. Shocking.
     
  13. I tried to fix one of the many walls we holed up, and made it worse. I had to run to Home Depot hours after we should have been done in the house to work it out.

  14. That night, the ball & chain took the kids and I finished cleaning the house while I broke down. Sitting in an empty room, on the floor I ate chicken cutlet leftovers (like an animal). 

  15. And just, when I'm about to break? My lovely neighbors brought me over a plate of food. And I proceeded to cry. And broke.

  16. The meal that broke me.
  17. That night, the baby got ice cream ALL OVER the only sweatshirt we have for days. No dish soap, but I feel like logistically putting it in the dishwasher could work. I did, kind of.

  18. More than one person (seriously, like 3 or 4) said, "You're moving to Cleveland? That SUCKS!" We were with 2 small children present.

  19. We left St. Louis and immediately got a flat tire. On my brand new car. If I didn’t take a picture, I feel like it didn’t happen. Or you wouldn’t believe me, I almost don’t believe me.

  20. We got to our hotel, Sunday night and was told that it is over booked and we most likely wouldn’t have a room the following night.

    Commentary: We did, but still. The threat was there.

  21. Due to the amount of clothes we could pack (in a car with 3 adults, 2 kids, and a dog) we had to laundry at the hotel NIGHTLY.

    Commentary: We planned on doing it once, but for reasons beyond my control we did it NIGHTLY. One night? Someone switched my laundry for me. At a hotel. Am I so jaded I think that's more weird than nice???

  22. The first morning out of St. Louis, the kids slept until 8:15 am. That was great, until we realized we switched time zones and we hadn’t slept late at all.

  23. During our Indianapolis to Cleveland run, there were rest stops at every exit. At one point, the kid said she had to go to the bathroom. It was pouring rain, and no rest stops - for 20 minutes. Let’s just say, that would be our unforeseen laundry catalyst. 
Seriously. That was one week. There was more. 

1 comment:

  1. There are no words...just that you are too funny!

    ReplyDelete

Use your words. You can do it, put your back into it.

I apologize I have use word verification. Stupid spam-bots. Fist in the air, it's all your fault.

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