Thursday, May 24, 2007

How much does a cankle weigh?

First, maybe you aren't aware of the definition of the biggest aliment that plagues my day. From the Urban Dictionary:

cankle
Noun. The absence of a defined ankle on a person - whereby the calf of the leg merges directly into the foot. The calf appears to replace the ankle - hence the term "cankle".

OR

Noun. A grossly malformed, disproportionate, and tree stump-like ankle that seamlessly merges into the calf, so that there is no singular "ankle" or "calf".

Example:
"Whoa, did you see the cankles on the chick? Looks like she has tree stumps for legs!"

Yup. So anyway, back to the question at hand, how much DOES a cankle weigh.

SO last week I gained over 10 lbs from last month's doctor appointment- which freaked me out. It's only been a month, and while I'm growing at speeds I didn't know was possible- I knew I didn't gain 10 lbs!

When I asked her about it she looked down in the direction of what would be my ankles.

She isn't worried because most of the weight is water weight. It's humid out, I walked to the hospital (where my doctor visit is) and my cankles were in full effect. Apparently the doctor, who was previously cautious, is now not based on the sausage toes and tree trunk cankles. She kept pressing everything all the way up to my knees, almost in amazement- as she checked out the water in my limbs.

I told her I cut out salt, my food is bland- apparently while she wouldn't recommend me going out and eating a bag of Tostitos- salt doesn't do this. Nope so eating all of my food with no salt, cutting down on delicious pickles or feeling guilty that maybe just maybe something that I ate is turning me into a tree, not necessary.

For some pregnant people - apparently the lucky ones, this is "part of the symptoms." I know I do no things in a small way, and pregnancy has been now different. For some it's worst than others, and for some it starts sooner- for me, I am that "some." And then she goes on to tell me- this is the beginning...

Of the end. I am going to have to be in a wheel chair by July 4th. I will not see the summer, will I? Nope, because the mere hint of humidity or shoes- any kind make my feet rise like a loaf of bread and my ankles go into hiding.

To conclude the story, the following morning when I could see my ankles for the few hours we had together I did what anyone would do. I found out exactly how much cankles weigh.

Just about 10 lbs.

-jCg
(the C is for Cankle)

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