This is going to be a draft and I will publish when it's appropriate to. Why? Let's paint the picture.
Today is 1.5.2011. I am talking to you from the past. Isn't this freaky?
On Monday the 3rd I started getting sick. I got the chills, I was coughing. I(t) was ugly. I have NEVER felt like this. I left work (though I work from home... so it's more like I walked away from my computer with out looking back at around 5:15pm) sending the following message to my manager.
Hi. I'm really dying. Tell everyone I said goodbye.I loved working with everyone. It's been great. But my time has come. The grim reaper is here and I can no longer withstand the urge to go w/him. I am seeking peace.
God bless her sense of humor and/or her ability to "get" mine.
That night I did what I could. I took TheraFlu and went to bed early. By 11:30 I was up and the ball & chain (well meaning) got up to get me a Sudafed PM. I'm fairly sure he handed me speed, because all it did was wake me up even more. I headed out to the couch because I felt awful to keep him up as I coughed with every muscle in my body... muscles I didn't even know I had.
At approximately 3 am, still awake, still miserable I emailed a few of my co-workers I work with and my manager a T.O.D. (time of death) email - calling it for the next day. Anyone who knows me knows this is bananas. I don't call in sick. First of all, I barely take vacation days (not something I am proud of, just a fact). Sick days? No way. I think in the 8 years I have been with this company, I have been sick 2 or 3 times? At most. And usually it's because I'm contagious. I work from home... so the fact I couldn't walk 2 doors down to work, was serious business.
Somewhere between sending the email and 4 am, I felt a flutter in my stomach. Not like I was going to throw up, more like an alien invasion sort of situation.
At 4 am wanting to leave a note for the ball & chain, letting him know what the potential cause of my death might be. You know, so he can point the ME in the right direction. I watch too many crime shows. I went on WebMD. Yes, they have an app for that. I put in my symptoms - you know the usual as far as WebMD goes (why does anyone use this app? Must be why it's free). I could have had a variety of conditions including but not limited to: bronchitis, liver disease, cancer, common cold, pregnancy. You know, the usual.
The ball&chain and I have talked about the whole second addition fairly regularly. Trying to be (somewhat) responsible, we planned post-wedding of a great friend of ours. That was the plan. Our first time at the rodeo, we were very much blessed with being on point when it came to reproduction. We aren't good at many things but fertilization and eggs? We got that. We talked about it, let it ride 10 months later - maybe you heard? It's a girl.
This time around, we started trying in November - but there were specific signs that pointed to the clear and absolute sign of the first time around being beginners luck.
First and foremost (and maybe the following should count for reasons 1 - 5) other than being sick this week... I feel great, fine. I do not feel like I'm going to die. See any of the these posts about me being knocked up. It was awful. Specifically the first 12 weeks, I was a shell of the person I am. I don't know if I ever told the story here - but there was one point where the ball & chain literally teared up - voicing his fears that I would "never be the same again." To name just a few of the joys of incubation: I cried, uncontrollably, every single day - most days 2-3 times a day. I went to sleep early - like still light out early. I could not stomach any kind of vegetable or meat. This left pasta, pasta or chips. Oh or ice cream. That's it - it was literally all I could bare to eat, see or smell. OH or mash potatoes. You get the picture. And whoa nelly with the mood swing nastiness. Let us not forget 12 hour a day nausea. The only time I wasn't nauseous was when I was sleeping. I was walking misery. I haven't felt miserable, I can eat all things, nothing is making me want to vomit, I am sleeping normal hours, I haven't been (unusually) moody - all signs point to not knocked up.
The other big "give away" other than disposition was the clear and present visitor this past month. You know. Aunt Flo. Yes, I did. So what? It didn't work the first time around. What's the big whoop? We'll keep at it and all will work out.
OK SO let's go back to 4 am - post flutter and WebMD doom and gloom of liver disease, cancer, common cold OR pregnancy,etc.
The next morning I went to the store, I needed printer ink, cough drops, and a pregnancy test. Why not? Just get the flutter out of my head. I didn't tell the husband, because he was going to think I was crazy. SO I waited for him to go to the gym and take the test.
Spoiler alert, if you haven't figured it out yet (you may need to lay off the day time drinking) - the test came back with a BIG (well small, thin) surprise.