Where last we left our irresponsible adult Superhero, she took a test a passed with flying lines.
Like déjà vu, I was shocked. I remember feeling just as shocked the first time around, this time more so... how LONG had I BEEN preggers? I've heard of that show "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" and refused to watch due to unbelievability. I mean, I am obsessed with vampires, and I find that scenario to be more believable.
OK so now I sit, stand, whatever- black out in disbelief and await the ball & chain to get back from the gym. Longest hour, ever.
Me: "I have good news and bad news. What do you want first?"
Him: "Good news?"
Me: "I'm pregnant."
Me: "Yup. Bad news? I've been knocked up... for awhile, I think."
Me: "Yup. I just talked to a nurse... and loose calculations put me at 10 weeks. 10. Weeks."
Following quotes, not in any particular order:
Him: "OH MY GOD. I GAVE YOU THERAFLU LAST NIGHT!" (totally disregarding all the holiday time drinking. Yup, TheraFlu is what we should really be worried about.)
Him: "OH this means we can do the whole beach house with Liza and Co." (We wanted to rent a beach house with friends over the summer, thinking we might have missed the boat.)
Him: "I knew it."
The "I knew it" quote almost threw me in an hysterical tizzy... if you KNEW it why didn't you SHARE this important information with me? How did he know? You don't want to know... but I'm going to tell you anyway... at another time. In fact, there is more to this fun "discovery" story. I'm going to stop here though and let it all sink in.
This is happening. I am very much knocked up. Not (quite) 10 weeks, but I'm though my first trimester by the time you read this if all goes well and as planned.
You know what I haven't stopped saying? Bananas.
This shit is bananas.*
*Yes, the shit is bananas, crazy. Wild. This is also a pop culture reference. Gwen Stefani sang a song, Hollaback Girl. Best line includes this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
Fast forward - trip to a laboratory to take a blood test. This time, was different, as I had previously been doing some research of local OB/GYN groups. I called one of the referrals I received and they were able to take some blood pretty immediately. As I walked in all the non-fun memories of things like blood work came rushing back.
Blood technician: "This will only take a minute."Me: "I forgot how much I hate this."
Blood technician: "I know. I understand, when I'm on your side, I hate it."
Me: "No. You don't understand. I hate this, it's in my blood."
Some things don't change; being knocked up, makes me a cheesy. My jokes become chessy delicious. I waited for the results, officially, but knew what they'd come back with. The next morning I called in and talked to the same woman who nicely helped me the day before, navigating through the tears (surprise not sadness), excitement, "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" references the whole kit and caboodle.
Lady who had to listen to me blubber: "Yup. I have your test results right here. Yup. You are really pregnant."
Me: "Hahaha. OK, so when can I be seen?
Lady who had to listen to me blubber: "How early can you get in?"
Me: "I think I'm only 10 minutes away."
I was seen later on that afternoon. And we got to see... sticks don't lie.
9.5 weeks, not 10. Due 8.5.2011. Bizzaro. World.
Last time I was knocked up I started thinking about going into the t-shirt business. This time I think it's a matter of health and well being for babies in route everywhere.