Sunday, November 4, 2007

Bfeeding is a BIOTCH

I'm doing it, and I'm not going to quit and apparently I've kept with it longer than the nah-sayers thought I would (mother). That being said, while it isn't horrible, it is a pain in the arse (actually a pain in the cha-chas, literally). Here are my issues with bfeeding:
  • By the time we sit down, get settled, get her fed, burped, re-fed, and settled it's time to start back up again. No joke.
  • It's messy- it's messy before, during and after.
  • Leaking. Honestly. It's very inconvenient.
  • TMI Alert: I have de-funked nips so I need to use an apparatus to assist in the feeding process. Can it ever be easy?
  • There is no gage on the lovely lady lumps- and since my daughter is a moose I'm never sure if she is eating cause that's what she does or because she's hungry. How much is too much and how long do I really need to have her hang there?
  • I clearly have ADHD. As soon as I sit down I am thirsty, bored and have to go to the bathroom and it's difficult to go hand's free.
There are all kinds of t-shirts out there supporting breastfeeding. Some of my favorite tag lines are:
  • "I make milk, what's your superpower?"
  • "All Night Milk Bar"
  • For Baby: "I see more of Mommy's boobies in a day than Daddy does in a year"
  • "Weapons of Mass Lactation" (accompanied by a basic graphic of breasts)
  • "Jesus was Breastfed"
  • "My Milkshake feeds all the kids in the Yard"

Some t-shirts I am looking to make that tell the real story:
  • "Jesus was breastfed and Mary was a Saint"
  • "MIA: Nipples"
  • For Baby: "Bottomless Pit" (printed at the belly)
  • For Baby: "I have a hollow leg"
  • "If you can read this, shut the F up. The baby must be sleeping cause that's the only time my shirt is down."

2 comments:

  1. "My Milkshake feeds all the kids in the Yard" lol
    And '(...) Mary was a Saint'.

    Kudos. Kudos, get it printed and pattend, or copyrighted or whateva, in say 13 years when you have a chance =D.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My friend says she'd buy the "If you can read this, shut the F up..." for her friend with a new baby if you printed it. You should start a business :)

    ReplyDelete

Use your words. You can do it, put your back into it.

I apologize I have use word verification. Stupid spam-bots. Fist in the air, it's all your fault.

(c) 2007 all rights reserved. aka don't be a D and swipe any content, photos, etc - sucka. Should you be tempted, let me know so I can be flattered and then give me something write about.