Saturday, August 30, 2008

Lillipalooza: Behind the Music

A year ago today, I thought any day now could be go time. I thought I would play cards and read books as I waited for the show to begin. We packed music, different scented lotion, changes of clothes, and bandannas. I read the books and we prepared for all that could happen. The pain, the joy, the fear of situational mayhem on the table, how that wacky miracle of life would come to be and who she would be. She because I knew she was a she. How when she came home we'd have my mom with us for a few weeks to help us get up and running. We'd have a welcome home party and we'd celebrate. There would be birth announcements and I'd obsess over the experience of the piece of mail we'd send out, I spent months looking at options.

We didn't know it would take quite literally days or that during that time at the end of the day I'd get what I've been threatening to do - schedule a c-section like Britney Spears. Or that fateful moment where we heard and learned the word merconium. I remember her face - the doctor that found it and the man who explained what it was. He was pretty hairy, I remember thinking... gray hair on the head, black gorilla arm fur, I'm confused. It's strange what you remember. I remember waiting for her cry and thinking it was the most amazing noise I have ever heard. I cried and said it was beautiful. I remember Chris running around in circles screaming, "It's a GIRL!!! WE HAVE A DAUGHTER!"

I remember seeing her being whisked away to the side. I remember seeing the pictures that Chris took from the camera, they are still saved on my camera. I remember going back to the room and telling everyone her name. I remember thinking as high as I was knowing in my heart something was wrong. Seeing her for the first time in the NICU, holding her for the first time, seeing her eyes for the first time, leaving her. Standing in front of her baby tank trying to stop the nurses from injecting her with more morphine. I remember singing to her and having a totally f'd up routine with her which included a mix of songs, rocking in the chair and sleeping at 2 hour clips on the hospital floor while beeps binged and bells dinged.

I remember the moment I lost hope that I would ever leave the hospital with my baby girl and the moment we ran out with her stopping at every other corner to make sure she was still breathing with out the beeps and the dings we couldn't be sure. We went through a very long period of wanting it all to be over - the pregnancy, the labor, the unexpected and completely messed up way her first month began. And then it did. We had a week or so alone before we had an au pair join us and the kid to adult ratio went back up again. Life picked right up full speed ahead.

No welcome home, no announcements, no thank you to all those that sent prayers, good thoughts, supporting cards, emails, texts - offers to walk the dog (poor Anabelle), bring dinner, do anything, do everything.

In the last year we have learned you fall in love in an instant. We learned we make a beautiful kid. We learned how many people love us and how many love her. We learned you need to celebrate everyday and it's long overdue to celebrate L and to celebrate all those that kept her in their prayers & good thoughts.

L's birthday party is for her, it's for us, it's for everyone who loves her. Against my better judgement & deep down desire to have things in her home we're taking the show on the road. The celebration extravaganza will be the best damn tour out there.

Lillipalooza is underway!
Check it.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Nana Lu leaves the building!

Last week C was traveling, yet again, and Cat was on vacation - with having to work we called in reinforcements. Nana Lu arrived into BayBack train station on Saturday ready to play. There were lots of tricks planned to be learned through out the week.

1) Eat with utensils
2) say "buono" with finger in cheek like a good little Italiano
3) blow out candles
4) fall asleep when someone says 'neenananeennananonononono' (kind of sounds like nails against the chalkboard humming).
5) walk

When I asked for a progress report on how that was going, I learned what I knew to be true - L would take the food OFF the fork and shove into her mouth. She doesn't like anything to get in the way between her and her eats. Another small glitch with eating with utensils - we don't have any baby utensils (we do now, but not this part week). And now that we do? Uses it backwards, after taking the food off the fork.

Another fun fact is that apparently the family is scared of the large chunks of food we try to choke L with. There are allegedly photos that scare people - I think I've found the one but I'm not sure since going through all old photos with food on them I realized even more than I thought they are all crazy. These are baby food puffs - how much smaller should I get them?

Surprised? No. Since C & I are continuously treated like middle school children who found themselves in a predicament getting knocked up we are always questioned. Like food preparation - when I cut pieces little, mother Coleman cuts itsy bitsy pieces. L's reaction? Grabbing as many teeny tiny pieces as possible together to be able to shove it in her mouth.

Trick 2 - "Buono" is a no go. This I wasn't hoping on as we've been signing to the kid for months and the only thing she has learned how to do in terms of communication is crying like she just got beat when we say "no." What she did learn this week was to know what shaking your head no means, with out the word "no." Sign language it is not - but communicating we are - if wailing a fake cry when saying no is communicating.

Trick 3 - no progress report to date, I think that was thrown to the wind due to the walking extravaganza.

Trick 4 - if the objective was to drive me absolutely bonkers - mission accomplish. Sleeping through the night every night I didn't have to have the monitor - also accomplished. We'll see if it lasts. What that had to do with that bang my head against a wall sound until it stops, I'm not sure. I won't ask questions.

Trick 5 - walking - she's practically running. She has overpriced baby shoes to prove it.

L loved her time with Nana Lu and even though I throw these things out there for comic relief - the truth is (and yes I'm capable of it) I don't know what we would do with out the week long visit. I got to not worry about my very long late nights away from home and even though I would have loved to be there that morning before 9am on Tuesday almost a week ago now when she took those 17 steps - I can't say I'm upset that my mom got to witness the big event. She got L back on a schedule, where before she came in to whip her back into shape I was being told that L wanted to 'loose her afternoon nap.' Hells to the no I say - and luckily Mother Coleman got my sleepy child back onto a fabulous schedule. We miss her already - mostly because it is nice to have family close and also because she made her award winning 10 layer salad that we lived on for the majority of the weekend. What is 10 layer salad? A little slice of heaven - if by little I mean a bowl of goodness I could eat for breakfast lunch and dinner.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Going Cowboy & Anti Stupidity Protection

I have this post pending, and keep forgetting to flip the switch ...last weekend was a doozy and I can't not comment on the madness. We spent time with family, met some new family, celebrated KW's upcoming nuptials and kicked off the end of her single hood. Then a 5 year old birthday party.

Note to self: going to a 5 year old's birthday party hungover is not as much fun as it sounds & driving home and staying awake for 6hrs (traffic at 11pm is for suckers) I will be writing the CT transportation board to ask why in the hell they would shut a 3 lane highway down to 1 lane on a Sunday night which is apparently is prime time for every double wide & mac truck in the tristate area) is a slice of hell. All worth it of course - for the fun & debauchery that I was apart of in NYC.

When I arrived into work on Monday, I came into an email alert from Bank of America. APPARENTLY they shut down your card when you walk down the streets of Manhattan trying to use your card and take out 'unacceptable' amounts of cash & push in the wrong pin code, several times. I had to call in to get the card active again - and had to explain myself to the judgey customer service agent (JCSA)...

JCSA: "Ma'am - the problem is your card was used too many times, for too much money then your limit allows. Also, it was concerning when the wrong pin code was attempted several times. Can you explain this?"

me: "Umm... I couldn't get the card to work - so I tried a few machines." (slight fib- I should have answered - because I'm an idiot who can't figure out the stupid pictures they put and was using my card in the wrong direction because I'm a moron - thanks for reminding me.)

JCSA: "Yes we can see that and that alerted us. Also, why did you try to take out more money then your limit allowed."

me: "I didn't know there was a limit on fun." (I thought witty - she thought shady).

JCSA: silence because she doesn't get me. Then, "Ma'am can you explain why the pin code was entered wrong, several times."

me: "The buttons were too small?" (another lie - I forgot my pin for the millionth time.)

JCSA: "Ma'am to protect yourself due to the answers you have supplied us with we will have to go through some additional security questions." Enter another 20 min of Q&A to confirm that I was in fact who I said I was.

Apparently answering questions sarcastically and being unable to make those tricky identify theft machines through out NYC before/during/after a few too many beers in a bag can red flag ya. You can take that to the bank.

Georgie's 5th Birthday

click the link / album to get more cuteness from G-Money's big birthday bash!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Waterproofing My Life

Why is it always me? On Friday there was a comedy of errors that wasn't so much funny. The plan started simple - dinner out with colleagues at work. The majority were from landlocked areas of the country and the choice was simple - seafood. Simple until my idea was kBoshed by someone who wasn't even coming with us. She made some good points, like where I wanted to go was goomba central where we would find State Street (NY - think Wall Street) tough guys looking for the hookup and ladies on the prowl. Not necessarily where to spend a Friday night dinner on the town with some co-workers - none looking for the hookup all just looking for some sea dwellers. We go to plan B and I rush everyone to wait. I rush them all out so we can get the show on the road to beat the rush - and we wait for a cab. The 45 minutes go a little like this:

Stand and wait.
Cab drives up - asks "name?"
I say, "Jenn."
Driver drives away, with out us while we wait. Sit.
Stand and wait.
Cab drives up - asks "name?"
I say, "Jenn."
Stand and wait.
Cab drives up - someone else jumps in.
Stand and wait.
Cab drives up - asks "name?"
I say, "Jenn."
Stand and wait.

It was fun.

Finally a cab drivers up and drops someone off. I get in - get everyone else to get a move on. Some randoms come up scream, "heeeeeey!" Like I stole their turn on the swings. I tell them whenever someone comes a knocking for Jenn - grab it. Suckers.*

We finally get to our destination and follow the arrow that points to dinner. I'll fast forward, but you should know:
  • there was very little to choose from on the menu.
  • what we did order sucked and was served in styrofoam cups or on plastic plates.
  • turns out we were sitting at the bar and there were another restaurant above that would have had more choices, hot food, served on big girl plates & music that didn't make you want die your hair blue and make chains your everyday accessory pick.
  • it starts torrential pouring and the roof (tent) starts leaking, on us.
  • call for a cab and while it comes immediately - we were planning on it taking longer so we were mid drink.
  • we have to walk miles (far) in the buckets of rain coming down.
  • arrive to cab and the driver is cranking butts and with all the windows up.
  • we get in the stink cab and the windshield immediately fogs - we can see nothing the majority of the way home.
  • I joke that an accident would really top the evening off.
On the way home I start to think, all in all I'm on my home at 7:30 - it's kind of a win day even with all the hoopla.

My car replies such happy thoughts with a "put put" and then silence as I coast over to the side of the road. Flatlined right there on the side of the road. I call AAA, which thankfully I invested in, and they state they won't be to me in less than 70 minutes. I call my fabulous husband and inform him he shouldn't come. He is 1 block away. They call me 20 minutes later (which is less than 70 it turns out) and when I call C he is finally just getting up the stairs with our soaking wet child who has just shat herself. Awesome.

I get in the triple A truck - who is a chatterbox and kept talking about cars, proceeds to get lost and finally gets me to the place I want to go. He can't maneuver my car into the parking lot - so he takes her down and we were going to throw it into neutral. I go to do that and although it has finally stopped pouring, I am soaking wet still and get in the car. Mr. Chatty says, "Just try to start it, for fun."

And wouldn't you know it - fun became ridiculous as my car started right up.

Mr. Chatty, "Did you go through a puddle?"
Me, soaking wet, sitting in my purring car, "Ah, yeah - it was pouring. How could I not?"
Mr. Chatty, "That's probably it."

My aggravation was three fold:
  1. Of all the things to ask me to diagnosis and help the situation - this question would have been the first I wish came up.
  2. How come my car is not waterproof? Can I not drive it in the rain? WTF.
  3. Bastard handed me a bill for 9 bucks - apparently it's 3 dollars for every mile over the allotted mile count. He's the idiot that got lost, WTF.
Turns out after it was taken for a spin by the garage I dropped it off at that's all it was, a stupid puddle. A guy from the shop called...

Mike of Mike's Auto, "Hey Kid, did you go through a puddle?"
Me, f'ing angry, "Ah, yeah - it was pouring. How could I not?"
Mike of Mike's Auto, "That's probably it, Kid."

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

July 08 Pics - Can you STAND the cuteness factor?!

There are too many for July - but I have to repost because there are new ones and they honestly keep getting better. I'm starting to get nerv for baby 2+ is it possible to take this many pictures of any additional children? Luckily I don't have to worry about all that for quite some time!

(c) 2007 all rights reserved. aka don't be a D and swipe any content, photos, etc - sucka. Should you be tempted, let me know so I can be flattered and then give me something write about.