Surviving the Mayhem & Enjoying the Magic

We've been gone on a magical adventure to the Disney World. It's a trip, I remember more fondly than I think the reality was - and that's what Disney is all about: a magical facade of wonderment. I am not hating on it, but it's a lot of work. Here's how we made the trip more magic, less mayhem.

1. Plan, but don't over plan. This time around I was prepared, far more than I have been in the past. Holy Pinterest, it's helpful. The most important thing, I think that helped this trip? We decided we wouldn't freak out on seeing or doing everything.  We were going to miss stuff - and that was ok. Having a collective okay on that decreased the stress, 100%.  We know we'll be back (in a few years, the FDA approved wait time), so there was no reason to make sure we saw everything. We'll see it all, at some point. Or maybe we won't - it's still magical.
   
   We made reservations for meals, where we could. The thing about Disney is you can make reservations 180 days in advance, which in my last minute procrastinator head is Amanda Bynes level of crazy. I conformed and it was absolutely worth it. 100%. Makes sense. I'm a believer. We made no more than one reservation a day, to allow for the whole "take us where the day takes us" mentality, but provided the ability to actually sit down & eat.
   
   Personal favorites:
   Tutto Italia Dinner
   In Epcot: great food, pitchers of beer. What more can you ask for?
   
   Akershus Royal Banquet Hall
   In Epcot: Good food, Princesses who come table to table chat, are adorable and it's not crazy town - at all. Like Chef Mickey which I find cra cra. And to quote my husband, "They should serve antacid pills with your breakfast. This is insane."
   
   
2. Magic can be made, not bought.  My kid likes details, she's into them. I don't know where she gets it {sarcastic font}.  To quell the constant questions I created a personalized itinerary for the girls. Each day, it was laid out where we would go, there were words easy enough for her to sound out and images to match. I won't lie, I took it slightly too far - as I do.  It was a perfect way to make sure the kid knew what was up and we will be able to look back on as a memory. After a week in the magically land of Disney, it all starts to blur together.
   

   

   *Names changed to protect the innocent - and those who will
   be embarrassed by Mom's crazy when they are older.

   
   The itinerary is created through Word, I downloaded a few free fonts to jazz it up and swiped images off the Internet which I'm fairly sure isn't Kosher but to be fair, I'm not 100 %. My best discovery was searching for images with a "transparent" background. This allowed for an overlay where I didn't need to baulk the system. Another option is clicking on the image and choosing the option to place the image in the background for easy layering. This might not make any sense, but if you are into it - it will.  There were surprises layered through out the week - laid out created fun anticipation.
   
   
3. Magic that is bought, can be done on a budget. In the weeks leading up to the trip, I would scour Dollar Stores or sale racks for treats & surprises. Glow sticks, Princess or Disney themed jewelery, arts & crafts and Princess costumes.  Did you know that some Princess dresses are 80 bucks? Like what the hell, it's dress up - not prom. Every morning the girls would wake to a few small trinkets left by Tinker Bell & her fairy friends. I used some of the fonts I already downloaded and wrote a quick note. Each note was encouraging, thanking them for their good behavior (self-fulfilling prophecy hopes). Each note came with a small trinket that I probably would have bought anyway (sandals, Mickey band aids) or help to defray the whole "TOYS TOYS TOYS I NEED A TOY!" madness (jewelry, princess costume, arts & crafts). I sprinkled each delivery with a little glitter and magic ensued. Though, at a certain point the kid could be heard saying, "Why does Tinker Bell keep bringing me all this stuff? I don't need all of this!" Oh my practical girl, how do I tell her the Dollar Store knows no bounds & mommy wanted to make sure we had enough?
   
   
4. Characters, man. Beyond waiting on lines for character autograph books (which for the right wait time - is totally worth it). See exhibit A. There are other opportunities that can't be missed, see exhibit B. It is taken in the midst of a dance party.

   

   Exhibit A

   Characters are actually everywhere. First, there are parades. Pro tip: you don't actually have to set up an hour earlier. We would get there moments before any parade, get a great seat and enjoy with minimal crazy town.This doesn't mean a crazy woman won't bum rush your child to wave to the princesses... but that could happen after waiting an hour in the same seat in anticipation. Second, there are dance parties. They are our favorite. I didn't see them - at all - last time around. But this time? In most of the parks we stumbled across dance parties. DJ, kid friendly music, an MC that was all "let's do the electric slide" and then characters would come out to dance with the kids. Honestly? It was my favorite part - for real. There could be these really, truly, magical moments of love with the characters without the rush of an autograph

   

   Exhibit B

   line.
   
   
5. If you got 'em, dress up like 'em. Encourage dress up, if the kids are into it. I mean, first - it's hilarious, adorable & magic. But the cast members of Disney? Freaking, slow clap to a standing O. They are amazing. Of course all the staff at Disney are pretty much magical, but throw a princess dress on your kid? They are curtsying, calling the kids princess. Asking if they've seen Aurora, Arial... telling story of Tinker Bell flying past them. Amaze. Pro tip: Kohl's sells Princess costumes, and for the right deal you can get them under 20, which is lovely. That said, what UP Disney? How ya gonna stop (easy to access) sizing at 6? Mama's got a tall glass of water - and throwing me a 7 or 8 would have done us wonders. We also did low key, inexpensive dress up options that wasn't the princess garb 100%.
   
   Example: Princess t-shirts with coordinating skirts or color themed outfits. Like yellow, blue & red = Snow White or blue = Merida or green = Arial. We made it work. We also did different hair themes. Best day ever, for the kid, was revitalizing some Rapunzel throw backs. We did her hair in braids and included some flowers. I am hair challenged, but easy enough: 3 braids, made into 1 braid. I stuck in some fake flowers and she got more compliments that day, than any. Even with her Bippity Boppity Boutique day (AKA Honey Boo Boo school of rejects). And she beamed. And I wilted.  Their happiness, made this "vacation." Dare I say made us so tired had us yearning for the end, it was still pure magic.
   
   
   
   
   
   These kids, man. The magic moments, made the mayhem worth it. 100%.  If you listen to nothing else, don't stress- too hard. Enjoy it.
   

We're going to Disney. A true unveil: leave your tissues at home

The mistakes I made:

• Over thought the surprise element.
• Got a balloon too big for the box - part of said over-thought unveil. 
• Expected too much. 
• Rushed the announcement, it wasn't a good time. 
• Set up too many cameras. There may have been at least 2 in sight.
• Announced the big "WE'RE GOING TO DISNEY!" after a unique 2-3 hour nap. 
• Built up "we have a surprise for you" before she even came down to unwrap said over-thought unveil. The nerves kicked in with the case of sleep coma she was in and add to that complete stage fright.... 

When life hands you an underwhelming response, you make an iMovie.



An hour or so later she was vibrating with excitement. It will be wonderful.

Taken after the "surprise" element wore off. I asked her to
hold the sign... she came up with this face all on her own.

The Downside of Firsts

Ed: Holy hell, I'm late posting this.

Nothing like another trip to the Northeast to remind me how much I hate living here. As always, traveling is beyond a hassle and ridiculously more stressful than I feel like in a dream world it needs to be. Yet, our reality is this.

Q: How annoying could it be?
A: Annoying.

Need proof?

Example 1:
It's been snowing, all the time. Of course the one weekend it's going to stop snowing here, there is a ridiculous storm named "Nemo" that we are trying to fly into. Our flight was canceled, so our plans for Friday - Saturday got canceled. That sucked. We tried to make the most of our (short) time. This is hard, when there isn't enough time. See vicious cycle.

Example 2:
The baby? Shock & surprise is not a fan of the flying.  On the way to New York she was 90% fine on the plane. The issue being that while 10% seems like a smaller percentage, that 10% was HARD. She wants to walk around, get around, not sit. Ever. And take a nap on the flight? HA. On the way home, it.was.horrid. The percentages switched and 90% of the time she was crying. It wasn't awesome.

One of the major issue with traveling, beyond traveling, is the disruption of the kids' schedule. Sleep is a commodity high in demand, low in supply. Naps are difficult to impossible. It takes a toll on them, it takes a toll on me. A day here or there is one thing, but these trips tend to be on the longer side and every day counts. JJ didn't sleep on the flight and we thought maybe that aggravation will have a pay off by her falling asleep on the 2 hour drive from the airport to our first stop. You know what sucks about being wrong? Being SO wrong. Like almost 2 hours of screaming and crying, wrong. Oh what's that? You've reached your final destination, only to get back into the car?

Q: Can it every be easy?
A: No.

Example 3:
Then this happened. Just when I think I can't possibly be more tired, frustrated, or hating traveling (it had only been 9 hours since we left our house at this point) this happens: my dearest of all husbands who is, by the way, in most circles the best of the very best suggests the following to me: our baby spend her night in a dog crate. 

Q: What's that? Are you reading this right?
A: Yes, you are.

Beyond traveling with two small children, taking time off work, figuring out what to do with the dog, packing up a life's worth of clothes but leaving enough room for all the generosity that awaits us, don't forget: diapers, wipes, cups, bottles, snacks, enough toys & distractions but not too many. Oh wait, forget what we are bringing. What are we going to? We don't have our bed - for our sake - and sometimes we don't have a place to put the baby. It's a constant question & issue. Sometimes hotels solve that, sometimes they don't. Sometimes we go places where a crib is available, but it's never the same. This particular night, we realize (late, because for whatever reason the aforementioned love my life didn't work it out as I specifically asked him to) we don't have a place to physically put the beast. She can't be in a bed without one of us. I figure, at this point, we'll split up. Take a kid each in the beds available.  His solution? He asks his sister if she still has a pack & play. She says, yes & no. They have one, but they use it for the puppy now that they don't need it (their youngest is 3 years old). My husband's solution? Take a look (actually, it was a smell) at the mattress of the pack and play and honestly ask the question: "Do you think it would be okay if we put JJ in the pack and play ..." he followed it with some kind of 'thinking outside the dog crate box' ideas like putting sofa pillows inside the now dog create. It's hard to say what happened after that because I had a break in reality and blacked out in rage. Needless to say, the baby didn't sleep in the dog pen.

Funny aside, in chatting about the 'incident' he followed it up with, "You were right." Like I didn't know that. Put my baby in a dog create. Humph.

Example 4:
When we do have the 'joy' of getting to sleep with our babies, specifically the littlest one. She sleeps on my head, like a cat. I hate cats.

Example 5:
'Fun' family quotes:

• Upon arriving late to Nana Lu's house because we stopped by a friend's house on the way, "What'd ya get lost?"
• In seeing JJ had a war wound on her face & L almost stubbed her toe off, "Is that why it took so long? You had to make sure both kids got hurt, before coming?"
• About my dislike for where we live, "I hate that you're miserable, but in the back of my head - it does make me feel better." 

We are both the children of families who have, by all accounts, always lived close to each other. At one time or another both of our parents do live or have lived within walking distance to their parents.  At most they are 1 1/2 - 2 hours away from their parents and children. We are a phenomenon.

You know the pride a parent probably feels when there is the "first to go to college" or the "first successful" kid in the family? We are the polar opposite. There has to be some pride that goes into having a son or daughter who are doing well within their career and have a happy & healthy family - but we are the "first plane ride away" kid. I don't know if that can be a source of happiness. Our babies will have parents who get it. We, however, do not.  We are our family's first. No one (including us) know how to work it out 100% effectively. We're still struggling to find the balance. The limited time we (and our babies) get to spend with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins takes away from the other. And don't even get me started on the fact that our babies have 4 great-grandmothers that they rarely (if ever) get to see. It's a gift they have, that we somehow can't seem to give them. Beyond the balance between our shared extended family, there are friends we miss and don't get to see. Friends, which by all accounts, are near impossible to find.

It's hard to be a trailblazer*, yo. 

*Alternative perhaps the darker side of descriptive words: the first, the only, alone.

Trifecta Part II

Almost 4 years ago we had our first trifecta dinner party, it was fun. If you like dogs pooping in the corner.  No seriously, the people made it fun. Just like Trifecta Part Duex.

The scene: we're at a friends house. A glorious new condominium that the likes of Pinterest was created for.  After a long weekend full of 16 hour work days and a long day at the office, it was a highlight of our stay in Boston.  I'm not quite sure if by the end of the evening it was the highlight of their weekend.

To review, the characters include:

• The ball & chain - the husband.
• Yours truly - me.
• The kid - 4 year old, on the move and in vacation mode 3 days and counting at the point of the story. 
• The baby - 7 months old and unpredictable as the day is long. 
• Jez - a friend with whom despite having many differences with, you would be surprised at the amount of things we say, think, or even choose to wear on any given day that is identical. Sometimes on purpose, so what we have the same duvet cover, most times by accident. 
• Chris #6 - Jez' husband and the 6th Chris in our life. When in doubt, if you want to know what some one's name is, it's likely Chris.

Opening act:
In observing all that goes into the baby stage, especially when it comes to feeding the little bugger Chris #6 asked a puzzling question: "At what point can you sit down and eat dinner together?" The ball & chain answered confidently, "We eat dinner together every night, just about."  However that really wasn't the question.  He clarified, "When do get to use both hands?"  We laughed. I don't think it was a joke. We answered something to the effect of:"Well. L is 4 years old and we're still waiting."

The Trifecta:
We show up and JJ starts spitting up (aka vomiting) all over their glorious new bamboo floors. Note to self: bamboo sure does clean up nice and easy. That's count 1 for the trifecta. Fast forward, there is eating, drinking, and being merry. We had sous vide pork, as you do when you dine with a fancy pants chef in disguise. You didn't know what that is either, do you? About 20 minutes into the meal, the kid excuses herself. She heads to the bathroom which is dangerously close to the meal. I don't worry, but I do notice how close it is when we hear her murmur, "Wow. That bread sure is spicy."

The bread was not spicy.

We all laugh and when I ask if she needs help (parent lingo for, "Are you going to poop?") she declines and announces she just has to pee. That's 2 in the count to trifecta.

5 minutes later she gets up from the table, again, and goes to the bathroom. Someone makes a joke about the "spicy bread" and I silently hope for the best. As the adults giggle our way through dinner, the kid can hear us commenting on the effects of spicy bread and she wants to set the record straight. Despite her being able to just tell it like it is, she screams it - to make sure no one is confused.

"I'M NOT POOPING! I'M JUST FARTING!!!!"

You'd think that's 3 in the count to trifecta, but it's not. Let's call it 2.5.

On an aside? While I could have gone without the screaming like a lunatic about her flatulence, it was a proud mama moment. For years we've been telling her, rather than letting it rip at the dinner table (or any table, hall, or room for that matter), excuse yourself to the bathroom. She did it! Proud. Mama. Moment. You know who wasn't as proud? Chris #6. Homeboy was starting to loose the color in his cheeks, and I don't think it was the spicy bread.

P.S. The bread? It totally wasn't spicy.

So, post "I'M NOT POOPING! I'M JUST FARTING!!!!" we settle down and the adults continue to eat.  A few minutes later and home girl leaves the table, again, to make her way to the bathroom. Again. Let the spicy bread jokes ensue.

But then shit got real.

Literally.

"Um. I need some help. Daddy! I pooped on my leg."

That. Happened.

Chris #6 goes ghost white and I'm pretty sure his desire to procreate left the building. The ball & chain goes and helps the kid out and since we apparently have a mic in the bathroom, we could hear the whole thing.

The kid, "I just kept going to the bathroom. I wanted to look. I was curious."

Apparently the spicy bread got her, so when she went to go and look - well, she got poop on her leg. As you do. To make matters worse (because it had to get worse), she got nervous and she pulled up her pants. Awesome.

"Luckily" we were traveling with a year's worth of clothing, so the costume change was painless. The look on Chris #6's face? Not so much. 

Closing act:
We're going to San Diego in a few months. We told L all about the San Diego zoo and all the animals we'll see. We're pumped. Jez & Chris #6 just got back from Australia. L was looking through their pictures. She came up on Kola bears, as you do. Her natural and no nonsense response? "Oh you went to the San Diego zoo, too? That's nice."

So yea, we're going to Australia aka, the San Diego zoo soon - and God willing? There will be no pooping on any legs. A girl can dream. 
Forward:
The next day Jez left me a voice mail. L loved it.

"Hey it's Jez. Call me back. I pooped on my leg." 

The only issue? Since this was a favorite story to tell from place to place on our journey, L loves to tell it. It gets a big laugh. Slight issue though, she doesn't introduce the concept or set up the story.  So her version? It goes like this:

"And then Mama's friend Jez left a message. It was so funny. OK I'll tell you. 'Hey it's Jez. Call me back. I pooped on my leg!!!' And then I was in the bathroom and I said: 'I'M NOT POOPING! I'M JUST FARTING!!!!'" 

We are going to work on the story telling. It can only go up from here.