Real Reality TV

Where last we left our irresponsible adult Superhero, she took a test a passed with flying lines.

Like déjà vu, I was shocked. I remember feeling just as shocked the first time around, this time more so... how LONG had I BEEN preggers? I've heard of that show "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" and refused to watch due to unbelievability. I mean, I am obsessed with vampires, and I find that scenario to be more believable.

OK so now I sit, stand, whatever- black out in disbelief and await the ball & chain to get back from the gym. Longest hour, ever.

Me: "I have good news and bad news. What do you want first?"
Him: "Good news?"
Me: "I'm pregnant."
Him: "WHAAAAAT??????"
Me: "Yup. Bad news? I've been knocked up... for awhile, I think."
Him: "WHAAAAAT??????"
Me: "Yup. I just talked to a nurse... and loose calculations put me at 10 weeks. 10. Weeks." 
Him: "WHAAAAAT??????"

Following quotes, not in any particular order:
Him: "OH MY GOD. I GAVE YOU THERAFLU LAST NIGHT!" (totally disregarding all the holiday time drinking. Yup, TheraFlu is what we should really be worried about.)
Him: "OH this means we can do the whole beach house with Liza and Co." (We wanted to rent a beach house with friends over the summer, thinking we might have missed the boat.)
Him: "I knew it."

The "I knew it" quote almost threw me in an hysterical tizzy... if you KNEW it why didn't you SHARE this important information with me? How did he know? You don't want to know... but I'm going to tell you anyway... at another time.   In fact, there is more to this fun "discovery" story. I'm going to stop here though and let it all sink in.

This is happening. I am very much knocked up. Not (quite) 10 weeks, but I'm though my first trimester by the time you read this if all goes well and as planned.

You know what I haven't stopped saying? Bananas.

This shit is bananas.*

*Yes, the shit is bananas, crazy. Wild. This is also a pop culture reference. Gwen Stefani sang a song, Hollaback Girl. Best line includes this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Fast forward - trip to a laboratory to take a blood test. This time, was different, as I had previously been doing some research of local OB/GYN groups.  I called one of the referrals I received and they were able to take some blood pretty immediately. As I walked in all the non-fun memories of things like blood work came rushing back.

Blood technician: "This will only take a minute."Me: "I forgot how much I hate this."
Blood technician: "I know. I understand, when I'm on your side, I hate it."
Me: "No. You don't understand. I hate this, it's in my blood."


Some things don't change; being knocked up, makes me a cheesy. My jokes become chessy delicious. I waited for the results, officially, but knew what they'd come back with. The next morning I called in and talked to the same woman who nicely helped me the day before, navigating through the tears (surprise not sadness), excitement, "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" references the whole kit and caboodle.

Lady who had to listen to me blubber: "Yup. I have your test results right here. Yup. You are really pregnant."
Me: "Hahaha. OK, so when can I be seen?
Lady who had to listen to me blubber: "How early can you get in?"
Me: "I think I'm only 10 minutes away."

I was seen later on that afternoon. And we got to see... sticks don't lie.

 

9.5 weeks, not 10. Due 8.5.2011. Bizzaro. World.

Last time I was knocked up I started thinking about going into the t-shirt business.  This time I think it's a matter of health and well being for babies in route everywhere.

At the time of this point, the 26th marks 4 years ago that we found out we'd be parents for the first time. Wowza. Parents to be again, why do I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone?

Wowza

This is going to be a draft and I will publish when it's appropriate to. Why? Let's paint the picture.

Today is 1.5.2011. I am talking to you from the past. Isn't this freaky? 

On Monday the 3rd I started getting sick. I got the chills, I was coughing. I(t) was ugly. I have NEVER felt like this. I left work (though I work from home... so it's more like I walked away from my computer with out looking back at around 5:15pm) sending the following message to my manager. 

Hi. I'm really dying. Tell everyone I said goodbye.I loved working with everyone. It's been great. But my time has come. The grim reaper is here and I can no longer withstand the urge to go w/him. I am seeking peace.

God bless her sense of humor and/or her ability to "get" mine.

That night I did what I could. I took TheraFlu and went to bed early. By 11:30 I was up and the ball & chain (well meaning) got up to get me a Sudafed PM. I'm fairly sure he handed me speed, because all it did was wake me up even more. I headed out to the couch because I felt awful to keep him up as I coughed with every muscle in my body... muscles I didn't even know I had. 

At approximately 3 am, still awake, still miserable I emailed a few of my co-workers I work with and my manager a T.O.D. (time of death) email - calling it for the next day. Anyone who knows me knows this is bananas. I don't call in sick. First of all, I barely take vacation days (not something I am proud of, just a fact). Sick days? No way. I think in the 8 years I have been with this company, I have been sick 2 or 3 times? At most. And usually it's because I'm contagious. I work from home... so the fact I couldn't walk 2 doors down to work, was serious business.  

Somewhere between sending the email and 4 am, I felt a flutter in my stomach.  Not like I was going to throw up, more like an alien invasion sort of situation. 

At 4 am wanting to leave a note for the ball & chain, letting him know what the potential cause of my death might be. You know, so he can point the ME in the right direction.  I watch too many crime shows.  I went on WebMD.  Yes, they have an app for that. I put in my symptoms - you know the usual as far as WebMD goes (why does anyone use this app? Must be why it's free). I could have had a variety of conditions including but not limited to: bronchitis, liver disease, cancer, common cold, pregnancy. You know, the usual. 

The ball&chain and I have talked about the whole second addition fairly regularly. Trying to be (somewhat) responsible, we planned post-wedding of a great friend of ours. That was the plan.  Our first time at the rodeo, we were very much blessed with being on point when it came to reproduction. We aren't good at many things but fertilization and eggs? We got that.  We talked about it, let it ride 10 months later - maybe you heard? It's a girl. 

This time around, we started trying in November - but there were specific signs that pointed to the clear and absolute sign of the first time around being beginners luck. 

First and foremost (and maybe the following should count for reasons 1 - 5) other than being sick this week... I feel great, fine. I do not feel like I'm going to die. See any of the these posts about me being knocked up. It was awful. Specifically the first 12 weeks, I was a shell of the person I am. I don't know if I ever told the story here - but there was one point where the ball & chain literally teared up - voicing his fears that I would "never be the same again."  To name just a few of the joys of incubation: I cried, uncontrollably, every single day - most days 2-3 times a day. I went to sleep early - like still light out early. I could not stomach any kind of vegetable or meat. This left pasta, pasta or chips. Oh or ice cream. That's it - it was literally all I could bare to eat, see or smell. OH or mash potatoes. You get the picture.  And whoa nelly with the mood swing nastiness. Let us not forget 12 hour a day nausea. The only time I wasn't nauseous was when I was sleeping. I was walking misery. I haven't felt miserable, I can eat all things, nothing is making me want to vomit, I am sleeping normal hours, I haven't been (unusually) moody - all signs point to not knocked up. 

The other big "give away" other than disposition was the clear and present visitor this past month.  You know. Aunt Flo. Yes, I did. So what? It didn't work the first time around. What's the big whoop? We'll keep at it and all will work out.

OK SO let's go back to 4 am - post flutter and WebMD doom and gloom of liver disease, cancer, common cold OR pregnancy,etc.

The next morning I went to the store, I needed printer ink, cough drops, and a pregnancy test. Why not? Just get the flutter out of my head. I didn't tell the husband, because he was going to think I was crazy. SO I waited for him to go to the gym and take the test. 

Spoiler alert, if you haven't figured it out yet (you may need to lay off the day time drinking) - the test came back with a BIG (well small, thin) surprise.