Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Price of Fame

Almost 2 months ago I made promises I certainly can't keep. A few months before that we made decisions I apparently couldn't follow through with. Life keeps getting harder and everyday I am reminded of the path we are taking and why we are roughing it. Too cryptic?

Long story short: I'm tired, defeated, hopeful, sad, happy, blessed, lucky, cursed, all in all a whirlwind.

I am a full time mother, wife, friend, family member, employee and manager and while I claim to kick ass and want to be the very best of the best; everyday the scale tips a little bit and something suffers. This balancing act of life is something that I continue to work on, though recently I'm feeling I'm not 100% sure of who is driving and where in the hell we are headed. So I sit in the passenger seat, doing what I do best and being a backseat driver. No one likes a back seat driver. I could have I would have I should have I need to I want to I have to.

C & I moved to make life easier, to improve our quality of life. That was the reason. End of story. When people ask why did we move there are reasons I can point to, of course, as they were the catalist of our decision making but ultimately the answer is as simple as "because." Because our life in Boston, while fun, exciting, city living and all that - was also full of rushing, traveling, working, rushing, always late, always behind, always in need of more, always guilty, always juggleing, always always always something more than just sitting still. I sound lazy, don't I?

Whatever> I want to sit freaking still. Is that too much to ask? We moved for lots of reasons. C's travel schedule was killing us both and my work schedule was constant. Between the two of us we were rarely home (together) and our schedules didn't allow us to be able to spend the kind of quality time we want to spend with L. Moving to CT brought us closer to all of C's work destinations so that his commute to said sites would be shorter and would mean less overnights away. Moving to CT brought us closer to family & friends so that we would be able to see people more with out the layer of resentment or guilt each time we wanted to or had to go to see people. L needs to know her kin. And through out the last few years one by one most of our friends were moving out of the city and settling down close to home... their home no longer being MA. It made sense to move. It made sense to take time away from work and spend time working on life.

The best laid plans.

Now, as (our) luck would have it we are home even less than we were before and we when we are, the other one isn't. We are both traveling constantly for work and if I'm not he is. When we aren't traveling we are working later than late or up at o'dark thirty. The proximity to friends and families also means an increase of visits which then means anytime we would be home to just sit and relax we aren't. It's a hard knock life right now. I'm hoping that at the end of day it all works out and all of this is worth it in the end.

Oh. And that's why I haven't had time to post sht. FYI.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Monday, September 28, 2009

Dear L,

Baby girl, in just 30 minutes it will be two years. TWO YEARS. You are a toddler, and I am a mother to a terrible twoer. And boy oh boy can you be terrible. Truth be told, no matter how bad you are (and boy oh boy can you be bad) you still make me weak with gushy love. I frequently hope that you'll wake up after you go to sleep, as long as you'll fall back to sleep with me. I love the nights we snug.

The other night you went to sleep early and woke back up wanting OUT OUT OUT of your crib.
I was up watching Grey's Anatomy a favorite and it was the season premiere. You weren't watching you were snugged in and I was crying because that's what Momma does when I watch that show you. You wiped my tears and pet my head. I usually brush your hair back and wipe your tears and here you were comforting me.

The night (before) you were born I watched the season premiere of Grey's with one eye open as I had finally been given some drugs as we anticipated your arrival. In 2 minutes it will be 2 years. And I digress...

It's starting to click for you not only how much we love you but how much you love. You love your puppy, "Ababelle", your friends, your Poppas, Grammys and Lous, your Uncles and Aunts and cousins - giving everyone hugs and kisses even calling people by name. You finally have Momma down and I can't tell you how much I love to hear it. My favorite is how you give nosey kisses on command. You run to us when we pick you up from school quickly chattering about your day. We can't wait to hear what you are talking about!

I try to tell you every day that you are the very best thing in our life and I hope you know that. Momma & Daddy have had to be away a lot more than we would like lately, and it breaks our heart when you walk around the house asking where we are. We love you, L, whenever we are not with you. Always.

10 minutes ago, 2 years ago we met you and life has never been the same.

Love you much. Love you always,

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

L: September 09

And looky looky - September is only a few days in - and photos UP and ready to go!

L: August 09

I'm totally behind. I KNOW! Here is August... and MORE to come!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Terrible Twos : Come Early

I started writing this SEVEN months ago... 7. Damn.

I'm breaking out the parenting books. We were going along swimmingly and it's all a shift. There are temper tantrums, jumping up and down, crying, screaming if the word N O is uttered. There is destruction and mayhem if homeslice doesn't get what she wants and she will not be that girl. We will not be those parents (yes. I'm judging.)

That being said, I am convinced we are alone with discipline here. Through out the day I am 110% sure she is getting what she wants when she wants it. I have talked about discipline a lot, how to do it, why to do it, when to do it - but the more L freaks the more it shows me that she isn't getting it anywhere but from me. Short of flipping my household upside down, it is what it is until the end of the year. I know Cat loves L but she isn't helping her grow or learn to be a good little girl, or a little girl that can be tolerated on day where she doesn't get everything she wants.

7 months later - we're still getting up from the terrible two monster and we're less than a month away from the big day. It takes a village to raise this kid, it's just too bad the whole village isn't on the same page. There are temptations everywhere - for her and for us but we'll get there. And if all else fails she'll be 3 soon enough.
(c) 2007 all rights reserved. aka don't be a D and swipe any content, photos, etc - sucka. Should you be tempted, let me know so I can be flattered and then give me something write about.