What's worse? You be the judge.

Saturday my dreamy husband gave me the day off. While normally mothers do not get the day off - I got a vacation day.  The ball & chain took the girls for the day while I went off to get my Breaking Dawn on.

Maybe you didn't know, but I am a MAJOR fan. Twi-hard. Major, people. And I know how ridiculous it is. I love their love, however ridiculous you find it.  I don't care.  I have read the books more times than I can count (yes I realize it isn't the best quality of writing, but you are reading this, aren't you?). It is one of hand full of movies (The Goonies, anything John Hughes, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Dirty Dancing, do not count) that I will see more than once. I will buy the DVD with digital download. I will see in the theaters at least three times. It's a sickness. I embrace it.

You think that's a problem? Get a load of the new problem I have on deck. 

Saturday morning, as I was getting ready to leave - I told the kid I was "running errands." This, is the truth. 

Courtesy of Merriam Webster:

errandsplural of er·rand (Noun)

Noun:

A short journey undertaken in order to deliver or collect something, often on someone else's behalf. The purpose or object of such a journey.

I was on a journey to tween oblivion. I was going to get my geek on. I was going to swoon. I was likely going to cry. Smile. I was going to collect some good warm & fuzzies and stare off to a dreamy state of mind. 

My swooning was interrupted by a little voice....

L: "Mama, where are you going? Errands? Where? Shopping?"

My well meaning, albeit dumb, husband: "First she's going to the movies, then shopping."
Me: {Totally silent.}

L: "The mooooovvviiees??!!?!? I WANNA GO!"

Movies to my kid is like a beach vacation. It's Christmas. It's fireworks. A movie AND popcorn? It's EVERYTHING to her. She would do just about anything to go to the movies.

Me: "Well, yes - we'll go to the movies soon, I promise. (We're planning on the Muppets at some point -so this isn't quite a lie.)

She seems to take that. 

My well meaning, albeit dumb, husband:"It's a movies for adults only.  An adult movie."

Great, so the chances of my kid going into school on Monday talking about how her Mama saw an adult movie this weekend. 90-10.  

And just when you thought it couldn't get worse?

Hours later - when I get home from bliss (the movie) & food shopping (sure it wasn't the pairing I would have hoped for - but it was HOURS alone and that was lovely):

L: "Mama. How were the vampires? Did they eat blood?"
Me: {blink. blink.}

My well meaning, albeit dumb, husband:"What? She had questions. I wasn't going to lie to her."
Me: {blink. blink.}

Just when I thought "My mama went to an adult movie" was the weirdest thing my kid was going to regurgitate at school?

Monday morning:

Me: "L, what do you want for breakfast?"

L: "Blood."Me: {blink. blink.}

We couldn't just stick with running an errand, could we?

Obsession is Contagious

It's no secret. I have a sick and uncontrollable obsession love.

While I was gone two of my friends got turned. Liza, you've heard about that crazy B before and another newly obsessed fan, Sabina.

Side note: Yes I know we need more than day 1 of my journey - but people. I'm a full time working mom*. Sht happens and mommy needs a minute, it'll all be reported (eventually). 

*Side side note I hate that label "full time working mom" what mom ISN'T full time when she's a mom. I'm just saying I work full time AND I'm a mom (wait I forgot about wife... son of a...) 

Let's come back to the summit. I'm happy, excited, jealous and reminded of how frightening I am. One of my friends wrote a bit about her mass hysteria over at her blog.

What I try NOT to do is get sucked down the rabbit hole of social media and Twilight both of which can be all consuming.  I mean there is so much out there that just has to be read.  From the best damn explanation as to why we fall so hard by way of the The Huffington Post and Devra Maza (read and swoon more here) to hilarious breakdowns (to laugh and wonder maybe you too could write them off as a tax expense here or here).  There are the usual suspects of blogs and websites like http://www.twilightmoms.com/ (yeah I am) or http://twilightersanonymous.com/  (no anonymity here folks) but how could I not get sucked in if I looked at those? 

Just like I did today, when Sabina wrote about her new found obsession. I had to comment and so should you - but for fun and because I need you to know. She asked what team I'm on and you should know my response.
---

I'm concerned here. I'm a concerned citizen with worries that I need to address. Some of it we've talked about - but I'm going to put it out there.

It's one thing to lust over a 17 year old who is "really" 109 (happy birthday Edward, June 20th - information NOT known off the top of my head... thank you Google). It is an entirely different ball of judicial, ethical and personal wax to be lusting over a 17 year old. He's 17. Get your unmarked van and register yourself - because it's not right. He's a teenager, Mary Kay Letourneau. No matter how hot (temperature not appearance... sorry Charlie) you think he is.

Speaking of Charlie - word on the street is there are some Team Charlie out there. Why not? http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2010/07/neither-team-jacob-nor-team-edward.html

Team Edward. End of story. Insert all the bumper sticker and t shirt tag lines here...
I run with Vampires.
Because dogs are meant for pets not soul mates.


A friend of mine, who recently 'turned' (into a wild and crazy obsessed fan like yourself) said it best in our recent debrief on the situation. 


"I just don't trust team Jacob people. I don't want them in my life. It's like people who don't drink coffee or won't drink wine. I don't trust them. It's unnatural."

Addiction

I have a problem. Isn't admitting it half the battle? I can't help it. I'm a prisoner. If I wasn't horrible enough at my own personal life balance, now I have reignited an addiction. I went to see New Moon, twice. It's only been out four days. I could probably go tomorrow. Instead I've decided to re-read the series. It's the cheaper option, but it will continue to suck time away from life. I can't help it.

Almost a year ago, I lost my life to this situation. And now it's everywhere. It's a frenzy. It was one thing to read through all hours of the night, talk about it, think about it, wake up for the day - and read again. But there was an end, there was chapter by chapter and book by book. There was an ending.

And then the movie.
And now the second movie.
And then there will be third and so help someone if there won't be a fourth - and if that fourth isn't done well and potentially made into two more... seriously.

There are countdowns and anticipation. There are fraking conventions and clips and interviews and trailers. Speculations, leaks and ohh all the dang blogs... so many blogs.

I have a problem and I hold this tween head held high wondering when the madness will end hoping it never will.

Bring on the shackles. I am your prisoner.

About 3 things I was absolutely positive. First, book series sagas make me smile. Second, there was a part of me, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for another fix. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with tween literary works.

It has taken weeks to write about anything, to write out my grandmother's wedding, to tell you about the happenings in the last few weeks. My very best friend from high school visited, with her fabulous and gorgeous family. The last time I saw her or her husband was at our wedding... and for how long can you really spend time with someone at your own wedding? Did I post that? Nope.

I went on vacation and brought with me the best gift a girl could ever give another. My dealer (what C calls her) let me borrow a simple book that she didn't even think I would like. And oh how I fell hard.

The book is one of a series, the ever popular Twilight series. Who knew the writing meant for 8th graders would speak to me? Speak to me to the point where I would stay up nights as late as 2 am pouring over pages and chapters to get to the next book.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...," He murmured.
"What a stupid lamb, " I sighed.
"What a sick, masochistic lion."

And then it was over.
I'm such a stupid lamb.

After 2+ weeks of having to work 40+ hours a week and that menacing child & husband I am obligated to speak to every now and again, I was able to finish the complete series of 4 books with over 700 pages of drama, excitement, sadness & happiness. Sure the font was a wee bit bigger since these can be found in the Young Adult section of the book store. Even having to admit to that, I hold my head up high, relatively speaking.

You may think my obsession is one over exaggerated but you can talk to just about anyone who has seen me in the last couple of weeks and they will tell you it's true. It's crazy how a quote can be Incorporated into daily life or how you can drive a point home by using the parallels of vampire love. I've gone as far to seriously consider naming our next daughter Isabelle. Sure we have a niece named Bella... but the nickname of Bells makes me happy. I went to the movies on Sunday, by myself, and sat between two groups of tweens in a packed theatre with my baseball cap low and the widest smile I've had on my face since I walked down the aisle.

I'm in love. Unconditionally and irrevocably in love.

"I promise to love you forever - every single day of forever."