I'll see your fourth pregnancy & raise you a move.

The week before I realized I couldn't possibly be pregnant (but was) the ball & chain started to look around for a new job.

The history there is: he's been with the same wonderful company forever. He has done well and in return for a career path in the right direction, we have been trekking all over the country.

We move. And we don't like the process. But we've liked loved our adventures. I haven't loved Cleveland. But I have loved some of the memories and stories we'll be able to tell. I'm glad it's part of our story, but happy to see what is next.

The deal when we moved here was: in 2-3 years the next step would focus on the Northeast. That was the same for St. Louis. We loved it there, hard. And in 18 months we were moved.

It has been hard here, and almost 3 years deep no movement. He's gone after movement, he's been approached for several opportunities - all of which are not on the east coast. So he started looking around... I mean? Why not... Cman is getting bigger, JJ is at a good age to make a transition and we are getting close to the middle school years for L. It's time...

So he started getting resumes out. The next week, this happened. And just when we thought our life was about to get crazy?

Boom.

One of those resumes sent out in February turns into an interview, turns into another, turns into another - boom.

We are moving.

The resume to interview process? Was several months deep. The interview to offer to start date? Fast. Like way fast. Like so fast, it quite literally would only happen to us.

Why I hate moving. Epilogue

Epilogue:

• After 2 or 3 (I honestly can't remember at this point) attempts, the water line to my beloved ice machine, works (however slowly). During the process of getting it fixed, the first time - when water was pouring all over my basement the following things happened:
• I called in 3x because the first time, I was dropped into a voice mail box I have no idea who it was. I left a weird message that went a little like, "Hi, my name is XYZ and I don't know who you are because of the terrible customer service representative I just spoke with. I live at ABC and this morning a water line was installed which is now spraying all over my basement. And when I say spraying, it sounds like a little sprinkle but there is a monsoon happening in my basement I can't get it to stop and someone needed to get here ASAP."  The second time, I was outraged and may or may not have been screaming like a lunatic and one point said something like, "SAVE your apologies. I don't want to hear SORRY, I want to hear that someone will get here because at the rate the water is coming down my entire inventory of storage will be ruined." To which the "customer service representative" said I could fill out a claims form, if that happened. TO which I said, "Are you f'ing kidding me?" And I didn't say "f'ing" and I promptly got hung up on. The third time I called in I was eerily calm, was put on hold and while on hold someone called me back - must have been from the first message I left. I'm not sure, I don't care. 
• Interesting fact? Sears never did survey me on my experience. Spoiler alert: terrible.
  
  
• The Internet was eventually fixed, after 3 or 4 attempts (I honestly can't remember at this point). I've had a decreased of solicitation calls, because I went cray cray and was provided a new number that they can't guarantee will stay off a radar, because I don't want to pay for a private number but it's better.  To say I was a crazy lady with them? Understatement.
• A "fun" exchange during my rampages phone calls to these "customer service representatives" (see also: TERRIBLE) included this gem. I was calling in to report that my Internet was indeed out, again. I explained for the who knows how many time all the back and forth, people coming out, waiting for days, etc. I explained that I had been a satisfied customer for long than I had been a customer receiving service and wanted to know the process for canceling at this point. I explained I worked from home and not having Internet is negatively impacting my day. While the over done apologies do nothing for me, I suppose I would prefer that over this person's response: "Well. Does your television work though?" My response? "I do NOT know. I don't get paid to watch TV, so right now I'm at my computer trying to do my JOB. Perhaps you'd like to try doing the same?"
  
• Disclaimer: Having worked in customer service I do my best to be the better part of some one's day. I am (usually) kind, understanding, sympathetic. I try to make a joke where I can. That said: provide terrible customer service? Step aside, shit is about to get real.
  
  
  
• I'm not quite sure how I avoided an aneurysm or ulcer based on U-verse and Sears. I suppose there is a point in the "win" column somewhere in there. Seriously, top 5 worst customer service.
  
  
• I got a mirror for the driveway, one that you can see on both sides to avoid crashing into the porch. My husband thought I was being silly for buying such a thing (such things are not cheap). I used it every day and it has saved my car from damage... until he recently backed into it and broke in a million pieces. Ah 7 years of bad luck, like that's what we need. I mention this, because I would just like to point out, for the record: while I notoriously have a terrible sense of depth and if anyone is going to swipe a car or back into something - you would have thought me. I'd like the record to show: the ball & chain has been the one, the ONLY ONE, playing bumper cars in the driveway. He makes fun of me for being all nervous about it, careful, slow, etc- but guess who hasn't cracked up anything in our driveway? This girl, right here.
  
  
  
• Eventually they found our overflow truck. It arrived the day that our flight was booked for a trip to the Northeast to attend a wedding. His suit and my dress (and shoes) were somewhere in one of the 30 boxes delivered. I found them. It was a Christmas Miracle. 

30 boxes in the overflow truck. 3 items needed to be found for flight in 3 hours.
The "best" & most successful game of "needle in a hay stack" ever played.

We've been here, at the time I'll (finally) publish this post for 3 months. We are getting settled, pictures are being put up, boxes are disappearing one by one. We're getting there. We have a few visitors planned. It's coming together. Don't tell the kid though, because she feels it too and I try to say I don't - but the truth is? I miss STL. I'm looking forward to when that wears out and things start to feel all wonderful here, but I don't know. 3 months in, I'm starting to think it won't happen. I don't hate it here, it's just not the same.  It's probably why I haven't had much to say here. I'm in this now not so secret hole of mourning, still. But I'm going to dust myself off and try to move past it, because we are here and it's time to start enjoying it and finding the love - and stop comparing it all to what we've lost. It sounds so dramatic, I know - but that's because it feels dramatic. Sigh. But hopefully? With the holidays (and I'm obviously talking about Halloween) coming up fast & furious it's just a matter of time where I will be smacking you over the head with cuteness. Because for real? It's what we do.

Why I hate moving. Part II

Week of September 19th – Move IN week

The after week one, there was another week of hell moving. Let's just start with day one, shall we? 

1. Ohio has readily available Dunkin Donuts. The Target I had put in the GPS I drove to doesn't exist. It started out, Ohio - 1, me - 1
2. Despite me asking "do the tvs need to be here" & getting the "no prob" the AT&T U-verse guy came to install, and cannot. Ohio - 2, me - 1
3. Then, when I thought the day couldn't get any worse (see no Internet until our TV arrived, and not TVs, because if you recall - that's in the overflow truck and who knew when that would come (see foreshadowing): a rabid deer almost successfully committed suicide using my car her weapon of choice. Ohio - 3, me - 1. Since not successful maybe me - 2?
   
   Now, that was Monday, what did the rest of the week look like? 

1. It was lovely that we had movers - but it's like when you are public speaking & you don't know what to do with your hands. There's nothing I can do until they were done. I couldn't sit on the couch, that seemed weird, so I've literally walked around in circles all day.
   
   
2. When I wasn't walking around in circles, I stuck my foot in my mouth. Like when I accidentally commented on how hot it is. While a mover was balancing 3 boxes on his back & I carried a coffee & my phone.
   
   
3. Now, remember, my week started with no Internet. Since the Internet couldn’t be set up, I spent my week driving back and forth to Starbucks to fulfill some work obligations. One night, until 10 pm.  Let's just say, the people of the 'bucks  really had my well being in their hands. They SAY they gave me decaf.... but really? Who is to say?
   
   Side note: when I wasn't at Starbucks, where I saw shady ass deals going on - who knew that loan sharks did business over a venti latte machio-whats they call it? I was at Panera. One afternoon, while waiting to get on a conference call, my "friendly" neighbor dropped F bombs like it was his J O B or he wanted me to lose mine. Luckily he left right before I needed to be unmuted.
   
   
4. I ended up needing to take the remainder of the work week off, due to not having internet. Lucky to have the ability to do so? Absolutely? Irritated that I have to? Ab.so.freaking.lutely. 
   
5. Note to self/ just because you see an old crusty dryer, one shouldn't assume you can slide your new one in. Gas vs. electric apparently it's a big difference. Who knew?
   
   
6. And then, and then, this happened.  This really is the pièce de résistance. It even beat the flat tire on the brand new car as we were leaving the home we love: They.lost.our.TRUCK.
   
   Commentary: Are you freaking kidding me? I'll see your lost luggage and raise you a lost moving truck of "overflow." WHO does that EVEN happen to?
   
   
7. What's worse than a stinky diaper? One packed away & discovered days later.
   
   
8. And yes, while it took 24 hours to realize it: we realized we didn't have hot water. We had to watch a YouTube video, cause we’ve never done this before. It’s how we do.
   
   
9. I was a hott mess for days, beyond the day I didn't know we didn't have hot water. One afternoon, as I walked into Walmart it occurs to me- if I showed up on the People of Walmart site I would t be shocked.
   
   
10. And then, the day Internet installation was happening (a week. it was painful), so was Kindergarten registration. To say I was emotional?  Understatement. Then, and of course, the Internet installation guy took so long it ran up against my appointment to register.  He was blocking me. Fist in the air.
    
    Commentary: You might say, just have him move his car. Nothing, if you haven't noticed is that easy because, you see, we live ON a highway so coming in or out of the driveway is a shit show. Fine, it's not a highway, but it's close. 
    
    
11. Then there was the time I had to return to Home Depot (not close) to exchange the keys they had made for me -  because of course, they didn't work.
    
    
12. Good news? I had to go back to Home Depot anyway, so it wasn't an extra trip to get food for our guests. Bad news? The guests were a colony of ants times a million.
    
    
13. Then, days later I remember I left my beloved necklace at the hotel we were just at.
    
    Commentary: it's just recently (5 weeks in the Cleve) that I finally got the official word that it's lost/gone/stolen/thrown out. SAD.
    
    
14. Annnnnd then, our Internet went down (& Tv/phone).... Until a technician can come out. That's as short lived as it comes. We then spent DAYS with and without Internet. Wasn't it adorable when the original installation man said a wireless connection to my work computer would have no issues? God.damn.liar.
    
    Commentary: And then to add to my AT&T U-verse hatred? Apparently you have to pay for a private phone number. Since that's crazy, I didn't sign up to pay for yet another thing (like Internet/cable/phone that don't work), I started to get 8-10 solicitation calls. A day. Good news? The calls meant the phone / Internet / cable was working. Bad news? solicitation calls? For the rest of the day I wasn't battling error messages. It.Was.NOT.Awesome. I did the math: I had been a customer for 3 days and issues with service for 1 week.
    
    
    
    
15. We came to this house without a refrigerator. Cause the thing we needed most was to go up and down to the basement every time we needed the fridge. Do you have any idea how often you need to get to the fridge with two kids?
    
    
16. If I told you that the water line they installed when they did finally deliver our fridge bust & won't shut off. Would you believe me?
    
    Commentary: Water.everywhere.
    
    
17. I've told my husband every day to be careful in the driveway. Every day he tells me to relax. Within one week he swiped the side of my car into the wall.
    
    Related: based on my yelling pretty sure my neighbors think I'm crazy. Can't say I blame them. 

And that's it. That's the "short" story of our long journey to the Cleve. Crazy town? Yes. Will likely be repeated in 1-3 years? Absolutely. Will I survive it? Most likely, no.

Why I hate moving. Part I

Edit to note: I understand this is way late. It's important to our story. It's a major chapter, and may explain why Ive been so busy. This is just one week. How could I not take weeks to recover?
Now that I’ve gone all rainbows, unicorns, and happiness – let’s get down to brass tax. For any “normal” person, moving sucks. For me? The laws of “Murphy’s Law” do not apply. It’s Murphy’s Law on steroids – and the ranging violent, aggressive behavior and mood swings of steroids. Wait, is there a plus side to steroids? I digress. Here’s a list of all the shit that went down over the course of the move (give or take a week. 7 days, people, with one exception).  If you follow me on twitter, this may all be a review, but due to character limits I now have the ability to provide my commentary.

It’s like a DVD extra disc extra, get excited.

Week of September 13th – Move week

1. Move, so we start it off right, by movers pushing UP pack day. Yeah, that's not inconvenient at all.
   
   Commentary: When we moved the first time, we lived in a house with ½ the square footage as the one we moved into in St. Louis. We had 2 days to pack, 2 days to load with 4 people each day. When we were told it would take 1 day to pack and 1 day to load, we questioned this and asked, specifically (side note: word of this whole post is SPECIFICALLY) “are you sure that’s enough (insert reasoning)” and was told “more people will come.” A day before we are scheduled to have the crew arrive, they look at the paperwork and realize that they need more time.
    
2. Tuesday I get a call that the kid fell at the playground and she is swelling, fast.
   
   Commentary: While nothing was “broken” I’m fairly sure it was severely sprained – if not in that moment of falling off the monkey bars, in the daily (if not multiple times a day) falls she executed on. She wiped out, seriously, at least once a day through out the rest of this post. I am not exaggerating. Fell on wet floors, dry floors, up stairs, down stairs, flat land, into walls and doors – it.was.CRAZY.TOWN.
   
   
3. The movers arrived, and while the last round of people MOVED fast, these people were light speed. Within 4 hours, they got 98% of the house done. The second day went just as fast. They told us, while originally the move in date was the following week (Monday - Friday), they now anticipate a Saturday (the day after they leave with our stuff) move in. That’d be great, if not for the fact that we were planning on arriving into Cleveland on SUNDAY (the day after they’d be there).
   
   
4. Wake up times began at 5 am. For over a week. Perhaps this is why I wake up grouchy. This does not include JJ's sleep "schedule." See NON-schedule.
   
   
5. My schedule was so jacked up, my check list of to dos so long, one night I called and ordered dinner. Cause it was on my to do list. Issue? It was only 4pm.
   
   
6. There is a part of cluster frames, Pinterest doesn't show you.
   
   
7. Our movers apparently didn’t noticed the one year old.
   
   Commentary: How do I know? Evidence. Everywhere. Including tiny little choking hazards as far as the eye COULD see. Including pest little one year olds.
   
   
8. Our cable box cords got packed.  So for a few days, sure I was annoyed that I'd be hit with fines.  Mostly that I had no DVR or OnDemand. It felt like camping.
   
   
9. The movers came, and in addition to not thinking they will make the Saturday estimate (relief felt for approximately 1 hour) - they realize their truck is not big enough. They are going to need a bigger boat truck.
   
   
10. In the rush to pack as much as they possibly could, the first casualty of the day came in the way of the tv in our au pair’s room (22 years old). One of the movers informed us of the broken television by letting us know, “I dropped your daughter’s tv.”
    
    Commentary: I look old enough to have a 22 year old. FML.
    
    
11. The overflow truck came and the entire time - they complained. 
    
    Commentary: They didn’t realize how much stuff we had (me, in my head: dude, I’ve heard this before - that’s why you are HERE).  They didn’t have the right equipment, blah blah blah.
    
    
12. Before they left - the driver had me sign for the overflow truck. I noticed, over his shoulder two televisions still remained on my floor. At that point? He tells me he can’t take the televisions and can’t I bring it with me. To say I lost my shit, is an understatement. Homeboy did NOT know what hit him - and the cursing I did made the crew blush. The televisions found their way onto the truck. Shocking.
     
13. I tried to fix one of the many walls we holed up, and made it worse. I had to run to Home Depot hours after we should have been done in the house to work it out.
    
    
14. That night, the ball & chain took the kids and I finished cleaning the house while I broke down. Sitting in an empty room, on the floor I ate chicken cutlet leftovers (like an animal). 


15. And just, when I'm about to break? My lovely neighbors brought me over a plate of food. And I proceeded to cry. And broke.
    
    



The meal that broke me.

16. That night, the baby got ice cream ALL OVER the only sweatshirt we have for days. No dish soap, but I feel like logistically putting it in the dishwasher could work. I did, kind of.
    
    
17. More than one person (seriously, like 3 or 4) said, "You're moving to Cleveland? That SUCKS!" We were with 2 small children present.
    
    
18. We left St. Louis and immediately got a flat tire. On my brand new car. If I didn’t take a picture, I feel like it didn’t happen. Or you wouldn’t believe me, I almost don’t believe me.
    
    
19. We got to our hotel, Sunday night and was told that it is over booked and we most likely wouldn’t have a room the following night.
    
    Commentary: We did, but still. The threat was there.
    
    
20. Due to the amount of clothes we could pack (in a car with 3 adults, 2 kids, and a dog) we had to laundry at the hotel NIGHTLY.
    
    Commentary: We planned on doing it once, but for reasons beyond my control we did it NIGHTLY. One night? Someone switched my laundry for me. At a hotel. Am I so jaded I think that's more weird than nice???
    
    
21. The first morning out of St. Louis, the kids slept until 8:15 am. That was great, until we realized we switched time zones and we hadn’t slept late at all.
    
    
22. During our Indianapolis to Cleveland run, there were rest stops at every exit. At one point, the kid said she had to go to the bathroom. It was pouring rain, and no rest stops - for 20 minutes. Let’s just say, that would be our unforeseen laundry catalyst. 

Seriously. That was one week. There was more. 

The good times, we had them.

Before I go down the dark & twisty road of all the things that couldn’t go right with our move, let’s go light & fun? Let's talk highlights. There were some.

Did I want to travel 1,196 miles in a collective 10 days, move 568 miles away from the house home we were just settling into? No. But we did and we did – and so it is. Along the way, we had some seriously good times.

1. Finale tour of play dates.
   There were a few, but one stands out. While it was painful at times, to hear my girl giggle with her little buddies, it was good to see her with the friends she has formed in St. Louis. I wish I could say they would be forever friends, but I know they will become but a memory of each other. I remember sitting in my office while my girl laughed, uncontrollably, with her best little buddy. Sure, I teared up like a sucka, moving is not for the weak, but my girl’s happiness is what I try will remember the most. Let’s not talk about when she left her best buds house, for the last time. She ran back to give her one last hug and I promptly melted as my heart broke. Wait. Positive times, right. Right. Positive.
   
   
2. Cardinal’s game
   For real, is there anything better than American's favorite past time? And I don't mean watching reality television. The kid loved it, and not just because she got to eat popcorn for dinner.
3. The Lion King Run.
   Do not walk, run & bring your a kid to a live show. It was breathtaking. I took the kid to her first live performance and to say it was amazing, is an understatement.
4. A last hurrah at the St. Louis Zoo
   For years whenever we would go to the zoo... ok fine - we only experienced it for one year - cause, hello. We only lived there one year. Anywaaaay... whenever we go we always get side tracked due to construction. They have been building a sea lion exhibit. Apparently it was going to be amazing. Guess what? It was. An intense tube you walk through while sea lions swim all around you. It's a do not miss, and we didn't miss it. We went to the St. Louis Zoo one last time.
   
5. While boxes everywhere are mayhem, they supply an endless canvas.
   
6. Hotel living.
   This supplies the kid with happiness, pools for night swimming, and a place to meet back at after a day of adventures. 
7. Indianapolis Zoo.
   A fun half time show. We stopped half way in-between the home we were leaving and the one we were going to. While driving 10-12 hours straight might sound like fun to most, we figured a break in the middle would be good for all.
   
8. Did you know that The Christmas Story movie filmed in Cleveland? They did, the house is still here, and they offer tours. We are going.
9. Yes, not having a TV or Internet for over a week hurt my addicted heart. We had good times. We got puppet shows and family games. Holler.
   
10. More on this later, but moving here, means Kindergarten for her.

NumbErs - the E is for exhausted

How do I begin to tell you where we've been and what we've been up to? I'm big on numbers, so lets let the statistics speak for itself.

• The time from when we found out the move was happening to physically being in Cleveland: 37 days. 
• This includes a weekend trip visiting the Cleve (for the 1st time, one trip driving "straight" for 12 hours): 4 days.
• The work weeks (within those 37 days = 5 weeks+) the ball & chain was working in Cleveland: 2 weeks.
• The days (within those 37 days) I was away for work in Boston: 4 days - including my baby's birthday, the first time I was ever away from her.
• If you are following the math, of the 37 days, at least one of us were not home for a collective: 20 days.
• The amount of time the movers aggravated me, 17 days - and counting.
• The weekend we moved, we drove in a car with: 3 adults, 1 dog and 2 children. 
• We traveled 585 miles in 2 days, across 4 states.
• The number of gigantic (like more than 4 stories) crosses we passed: 2. 
• We had 2 moving trucks, 1 that was lost for a few days. DAYS.
• 10 days after we moved, we traveled to the Northeast for 6 days. 
• During those 6 days, we drove 611 miles, across 4 states (never mind flying 400+ miles each way).
• Patience and understanding levels are at a solid: 0.

More, later.

Life imitating art

Last week we met with a bunch of L's little friends.  I searched through my history - apparently I didn't write about this, but when we moved here, we wanted to make her 4th birthday special. We had always had family birthday parties - our friends & family would join together and celebrate our little girl. Here, in the STL - we didn't have many friends (2 1/2, generously) and no family - so we wanted to throw her a special party and invite all of her new friends, in class. We rented out a space and hosted a wonderful craft party. She chose "Under the Sea" theme and they made mermaids out of clothes pins, scratch art fish, and a bunch of other crap art. They all loved it. And in a weird twist, we (the new kids) introduced these kids (and their parents) to this little shop, the Craft Caboose.

Fast forward, every few months over the course of the last year, a few moms would get together. We would bring the kids to a craft class and for an hour we would have coffee & chat.  L loved this special time. For our bucket list of STL - one of the first things she wanted to do was go to the Caboose. I emailed the moms and we got the kids together. While, I didn't start with "this is our finale tour you will never see us again" in the back and forth I mentioned we were moving. 

While we were leaving the 'Boose, one of her buddies came up to her to say goodbye & this happened.

"L. I think I won't see you again, because you are moving. I'm really going to miss you. I'm really sad."

And then something about being a really good friend, the details are blurry because I melted into mush. Instantly. And then they hugged. (Side note: seriously, is it just me or can you see L holding on for dear life?)

We got in the car, and it started.

"I don't want to move."
"I love it here."
"I love my friends."
"I'm gonna miss St. Louis."
"I'm going to miss my friends."

I told her, I know. And I love it here, too. I'll miss her friends - our friends - our house - I understand. But we'll have a good time - it will be exciting! A new adventure!!! Remember what it was like last time? We felt the same feelings, and look at how much we love St. Louis and our new friends? It will all work out.

Her response?

"I know, Mommy - but I can miss my friends, too."

------

We had movie night. When it's move time, we eat pasta as much as possible and watch movies during the week. Basically, it's my survival. We watched Monsters, Inc. If you don't know the movie - it's hard to explain without really losing you on reality. Essentially monsters, in Monster World, need to gather screams from children to have power (get it? monster in the closet). It turns out, while they scare kids to gain power (electricity - not world domination) - they are really terrified of children. It's the strongest of the strong who lead the monster world. The main character, Sully (big blue guy), is the lead scarer and one day he comes upon a little girl (she slips through her closet door - the gateway to our world). Sully names her "Boo." Hilarious adventures ensue - fast forward, bad guy, good prevails and the energy crises is saved by finding out that laughter actually produces more energy than screams. After the victory Boo's closet door has to be destroyed, as she's "seen too much." This means Sully (Boo calls him, Kitty) can never see his little girl, ever again. It's sad.



In the end, Sully's buddy (Mike) puts together Boo's closet door so he can visit Boo again. And this happens.

Disclaimer: the only stupid clip I can find is one where some guy is crying in the background. But basically this is the scene where Sully's best friend, Mike (green guy) makes sure Sully can see Boo again. If nothing else, you need to see the end of the scene. Where Sully smiles.


As the credits roll, L immediately looks up at me and asks, "Why is he smiling like that?"

I explain, Sully is happy to see Boo - he missed her very much.

Almost immediately, she breaks open. Tears, sobbing, broken heart spilling all over our couch.

I ask her, "What are you feeling? What's going on, kid?"

She responds, "I don't know. He's just. Just, so cute."

But she doesn't need to explain. Her heart hurts, and there are no God damn closet doors she can walk through to see her friends - ever again. She will miss them, hard. And eventually it will fade and they will barely know the other existed - but right now? Right now, it's all she knows.

To be filed under: No. That's not weird, at all.

The Friday we found out we were moving, we told family, a few friends, and emailed our landlords. 

Priorities.

One of my biggest worries was we wouldn't be able to find someone to pick up the balance of our lease agreement. Maybe I haven't mentioned, we didn't expect to move this soon. In our heart, and in our contracts. Even though it's only been a year and change, I forgot. It's freaking hard to find a place to live around here.

Long story short: I posted on Craigslist - and the phone lines started to blow up.  I only made two appointments, and it was painful. Sure, I got to practice the skills that I have honed in on based on years of overdoing HGTV - but it was heartbreaking. I may or may not have stated, "There are beautiful built ins, a working fireplace, and the light fixtures stay." File that under, duh. But they are lovely and I wanted to confirm.

The body wasn't even cold yet, and we were passing her (the house) off to the first to respond. It was heart wrenching, and as excited I was to meet possible young families who might be residing in our (current) abode - I kept comparing us to them. Would the neighbors like them more? Probably. Would they appreciate the porch the way we do? Probably, not. Would they love the arches in each room? Who knows. Would they hang ceramic animal heads in the dining room? No. They will not, and they will certainly regret that.

Then I realized something, very important: it's not important. Also? Some of the people are weird, even if the neighbors like them better, they don't appreciate the house the way we do, or have the same decorating (superior) style. This interaction happened, and has (slightly) made me feel better about the whole thing. 

In the midst of my poor man's interpretation of House Hunters was introducing the kids and the au pair.

"Does she come with the house, too?"

I laughed.

Then I quickly realized? He wasn't kidding.

You know what. As jealous as I am, and as protective as I seem to be over this house? These people be cray. Their weirdness? Makes me (somewhat) less jealous. But let's be real: it just makes it easier to judge - because I'm petty and lashing out.

Too soon.

We are always moving. We've always been moving. It feels like we'll always keep moving.  This move is harder than any other move. 

Rewind:

2005(ish)
When we moved in with each other, we lived in a lovely little place in Charlestown, MA. It was perfection, if you didn't pay attention to the slanting floors or the 300 square feet.*  It was a "cozy" one bedroom, exposed brick, in an awesome area of the 'Town, cobble stone streets, views of the city and bridge, cheap, close to it all. We loved it. 

2007
When we moved around in Boston, it was out of pregnancy panic necessity.  When I found out we were knocked up, I couldn't get out the once loved 1 bedroom fast enough. We needed space. There would be a baby. The baby would have stuff. The baby would need a room (though I did consider blocking off an area with a curtain in the living room/kitchen/bar stool area). We would get an au pair for childcare because I work for the company, believe in the program, and the wait for daycare in or around Boston is approximately 24 years*. We had to move. Fast.

And move we did; to a lovely (over priced) duplex in the South End of Boston. On the corner of bougie & hit the deck, it's a drive by! Oh but how it was (mostly glorious). The location was divine (to one side), exposed brick (I'm a sucker), TONS of space (to clean), small outdoor space (despite looking over a Dunkin Donut's parking lot, gorgeous kitchen, our first apartment with laundry IN the unit, and always lots of fun. 

We left because of how much the ball&chain was traveling (now laughable), and needing to be more central to where he was going. It was sad to leave Boston, but an important step for our family. It was exciting. It was sad to leave, but not so much - sad - NOOO I'm not ready, more so... Awe. This stinks. Not even, sucks. Actually, that's not true. If I'm being totally honest? We were ready.

2009
We moved to Connecticut, hated our apartment but we made it our own.  It was great to be close (enough) to family & friends, exploring a town I once knew as a college student (spoiler alert: totally not the same). We got to spend time with good friends and I tried to connect with new ones. I was getting there.* We got our first taste of suburban main street, and fell in love with the (possibility) of community.

2011
BOOM. We find out we're moving. Destination: St. Louis, Missouri. 

I can't say I was a fan of the idea, but I can't tell if it was the whole "pick up and move half way across the country thing" or the fact that it was the "7+ months pregnant, moving half way across the country thing." It's hard to say. I guess the reasons aren't important. The bottom line: I wasn't happy. We were up for the adventure, we knew we had to do it, it was good for the ball&chain's career. We said we'd move for as long as L wasn't in middle school.  We sucked it up and powered through. We figured, we'll be in & out in two years and just get 'er done. But God damn it, you crazy ass hoosier, I love you. I fucking love you (yes, F bomb warranted).

It's the little things, like family friendly activities that aren't cheesy, are mostly free, and almost always serve beer. It's the deliciously fresh food, reasonable prices (of most anything), and mostly nice people. The arches in the doorways and cross that hangs in our entry way because our landlords left it in a pocket of the wall - stuck on with old gum or tack - and even after re-painting the place we thought it belonged. The farmer's market that has the best breakfast burrito that has ever been burritoed (and live music, a play ground and kick ass produce). The central standard time zone; best time zone, ever. You aren't so far off either coast to feel disconnected, TV shows are on earlier, you can wake up later, it's really the best time zone there is. Truth. The walk we do, behind our neighborhood, into Washington University. All kinds of secret little passages, in between buildings that look like castles. Bike rides around the neighborhood, the sidewalks, even the god damn grass that I keep killing and the endless plants in the countless gardens that the owners had set up. I love those stupid plants.

I won't miss the heat. That shit is bananas (110 degrees at 8 pm is not right. It's been 90 or higher since February, and our electric bill this month was disgusting). Which reminds me, I'm gonna miss our central air. Cost, be damned.

It's the big things. It's our neighbors, who admire our children. Our neighborhood, who embodies what you see in good ol' family friendly Disney movies (before Lindsay Lohan broke in). It's where we brought our (newest) baby home. And as far as we are from family, and as much as it's hard a lot of the time, it's where we get to really be our own family.  We are able to spend time together in ways that when we are closer, we can't. We have birthdays, dinners, communions, baptisms, showers - the endless obligations that you want to be there for - you just don't get the time we get here.

What are we doing this weekend? Nothing. Hanging out with each other, and we love it.

St. Louis, is where we got all that time together. All that exploring. All that ... I don't know? Family.

The kid has made friends here, she has play dates, she takes dance class, and attends creative camps during the summer. The counselors know her. I want them to see how much she'll grow from this year to next year - like they did this past year. I want to have Halloween here, again. God damn it, I want to march in the July 4th parade again. Oh my god, I just realized. We're going to miss apple festivals, St. Patrick's Day parades, and a hot air balloon race that kicked ass. I'm also realizing all the pictures and posts I forgot to write or publish. I can't link you there, but trust me: good times.  As soon as we figured out all that we loved, and all that we are looking forward to for "next time," it's gone. 

I know, maybe we won't find all of that where we are going - but some portion of this ramble list will be in Cleveland. They have sidewalks there and maybe even plants to kill. It's not the same. It won't be the same {insert toddler strength tantrum here}.

I'm heart broken about the move.*

There are some exciting aspects.  It's a great opportunity for the ball&chain, MUCH less travel during the week, new places to explore.  I do love to set up shop and make a house our home. I've become quite good at it, if I do say so myself. We still get quality time and continue our adventure.

It doesn't change the loss I feel. I didn't cry when we moved from Connecticut to Missouri. I cried when we said goodbye to people. It made me sad to think of L (and our baby to be) not being able to see their family & friends as much as she did. It wrecks me to know that our family relays on pictures, youtube videos and skype to see our babies when they do, and it's not often. That hurts. But moving? Eh. It was a pain in the ass, and I wasn't happy about it - but I bucked up and we moved.

I've already cried a few times, just thinking of moving from here. My heart is heavy and I'm truly sad. Like NOOO I'm not ready, sad. Thinking of someone else in this house, hurts my heart. It sounds so dramatic. I assure you, it doesn't make it any less true. I love this house. I love this neighborhood. I love this god damn city.

I'm not ready.


*An estimate, but probably close.

Pet Shop

We found a house. A beautiful, (almost) perfect, house. In the search for a new home - as it always is - it sucked. The weekend we went to Ohio, we did so by way of driving. If you map St. Louis to Cleveland it's a strong and solid: 9 hours 43 minutes. This does not take into consideration:

• Traffic
• Bathroom breaks
• Where the hell is that binky breaks
• Meal breaks
• Bathroom breaks
• Diaper changing, good lord what is that smell, breaks
• No seriously, where the hell is that binky breaks
• Some kind of law that states it is inhumane to strap children into car seats for any amount of time that exceeds reasonable expectations

After stopping on the way in to catch a few hours of sleep, we drove straight to our first appointment, Friday morning, and spent the next two full days looking at houses. I didn't count, but my best guess is we saw at least 20 different homes. House Hunters, three houses, this was not. In a surprise twist, by in large, the kids were fantastic. L showed off her all too familiar knowledge of home tours, opening doors, exploring, including audible "oohhs" and "ahhhs" in all the right places. At one point, she noted that, "this kitchen has a lot of space. It opens right into this room." If she said, "great open floor plan" I would have died right there, but I don't know - I feel like her sentiments were right on target and close enough. Anyway, there were a lot of houses, and a lot to remember. The house we went with was the first we saw on Saturday morning, I wouldn't expect her to remember it exactly - though I wouldn't have been surprised if she had. 


I had found the house, listed on a website, that had pictures attached to it. I found the link again, and had her look at the pictures to jog her memory. As she skillfully flipped through the pictures on the phone, she got to the last picture - that was of the back yard. This is what I heard.

"Oooh. YEEEEESSS!!! This house comes with pet deer!"

Final picture of the house.

I'm already tearing her away from a home she loves, and friends she will miss. I was not going to take away her new pet deer. So I may or may not have corrected her. Instead, I said, "Um. Yea, but they only visit sometimes and we can't pet them. They are the kind of pets you just look at. Sometimes."

Survival

So. We're moving. And this time seems to be exponentially more difficult than the first (million) time(s).  We love it here. I'm not sure when I'll post this, because right now the moving news isn't social media friendly - but we've known for 48 hours (ish) that we are moving for sure. 72 hours if you count the call giving the ball & chain the unofficial official news. (Edited to note: I wrote this two weeks ago).

We've started a Farewell Tour of the STL. Much different than our first farewell tour. The night we told L that we were moving we made a list of all the places we wanted to visit one last time or see for the first time, before moving. We got started, right away. We told her Friday night, only hours after receiving the news. If I know one thing about my kid is she needs to know what's going on and have a plan. I don't know where she gets that from (sarcastic font). Saturday afternoon we were off to the races. Well, not so much the races, but the farm, Grant's Farm.  It's one of our favorite places.

1. It's free (well parking is 15, but for the lot of us, it's free). 
2. It's fun. There are all kinds of random animals, a train ride to get to the farm, for 5 bucks you get to feed goats with two bottles, a carousel ride and a snow cone. It's like a mini-zoo with all kinds of animals. It's just good ol'fashion fun. 
3. It's owned by Anheuser-Busch- so you get two free samplings of beer. And it's on the honor system which I get a kick out of each and every time I think about it. We've never tested that honor, but I love that there are always the same two old men slinging beer behind a beautiful bar. 
4. You get to see Clydesdale horses. They are friggin huge. They are the horses from the Budweiser commercial. 
   
   

We had our fun. The train ride, the walking around (side note: I am going to miss a lot about the STL, the heat? Not one of them. Not by a long shot), we got attacked by goats, rode the carousel, saw the horses. Good times had by all. Oh, and of course, partook in some sampling. Lord knows I needed to "sample" the Bud Light. It was glorious.

When it was time to leave, I wanted to stop at the gift shop. We love Christmas ornaments and I thought perhaps there would be one that we could take with us. We have thought about it a few times, this is likely the very last time we'll be here. Most likely the last time in St. Louis, absolutely (likely) the last time we'll be at Grant's Farm.

We found the perfect ornament (good thing, cause there were only two choices) and as I walked to the cashier I noticed a pile of stuffed animals. You know how they place them right by the cashier so the whining kids throwing a fit get their way - spoiled to the hills getting to take home a stuffed animal they don't need?

Well my kid is well trained. Sometimes she'll ask, but it's always with the idea of testing the waters. She'll say, "I can't get a X, right?" So when we say she is right and the activity itself is the treat she doesn't throw a fit and knows that she gave it a shot. Nothing gained, nothing lost.

This time? She didn't even ask.

But me? A Clydesdale of her very own. I don't know if I'm going to survive this move. I'm sad. And to fill the hole in my heart, I'm buying stuffed animals. Apparently.

The best 9.99 I've ever spent, Jessie (the horse's name) came home with us and I get it now, why parents buy their kids crap while they are on location. It's adorable. It's a habit I'm sure we don't want to continue, but I'm not quite sure if I'll be able to help myself.

The Moment

The night we told L we were moving was a major moment for me. I didn't know it would be, until it was happening.

The ball&chain got the official word Friday night (Edited to note: a week or so before posting this). The kid likes to plan, and we like to have her be apart of the plan, so we told her hours after finding out. Knowing this was a possibility for the last few weeks, even if only a small possibility, we'd begun to talk about the inevitable move. If not for this situation we'd be moving on in a year or so. While I consider her the smartest damn 4 year old I know, she is 4. If she were older, she probably would have picked up on my (not so) subtle hints that something was brewing. Every once in awhile I would weave into conversation the topic of moving. The topic and conversation would be benign and would normally go a little like this.

Me: "L, what do you think? We will move someday - this isn't our forever home. It might be in a few months, maybe 6, maybe a year, maybe more. What do you think?"
Her: "I hope we move to San Diego."

Alas kid, San Diego is not in the cards, but at least I got her thinking about it.

The night we told her was this weird moment in time I don't know that I expected. As we told her about the exciting news, we were all smiles. We told her about Daddy's new job, that there would be less traveling, that we'd be moving like we did last time.  We told her about Cleveland and all the fun things to do. We told her that she'd help us look for a new house, that this time she would come with us to find our next home. She took it all in, all smiles. Then there was this moment, where I may or may not have been near tears. It all flashed in front of me. I realized that this is it. For real. And it was going to happen fast. Even though I have been mentally preparing that it was likely to happen, it now very was real. I started to think more about the first time we did this. And how hard it was for her. This was going to be worse. My little girl would obviously survive, but this wasn't going to be all smiles for her.

I am near tears, and it's at this moment, this weird moment in time I realize I've stopped looking so excited and she is staring me down. Trying to figure me out. Trying to figure out how she is supposed to feel; how is she supposed to react.

I identify being a mother probably more so than I identify with any role I have in life - but how weird is this: at that very moment in time I felt like a mother so clearly it was as if I never felt like a mom, parent, protector - ever. This little person, looking to me. Depending on me, on us.

Have I mentioned, I'm not going to survive these kids?

I'm going to do my best to smile my way through this hott mess of a situation, because she's watching. She's looking to us on what steps to take and I'd like them to be the easiest steps.

In related news: this parenting thing is freaking hard.

Life lesson: Don't get too comfortable.

We love where we live. While we are far from family and friends, we are making our way here in our little neighborhood in St. Louis, Missouri. The people are great, our neighborhood is what hometown feel good movies are made of, the kid has some good friendships, and I'm making good connections with some locals. It's nice. It's comfortable.

We love our home, our landlords are wonderful, the house is put together. It's our home. We are happy. While the ball&chain travels more than I would like, it isn't (always) so bad. We are in a great routine, I get to work from home, the kids are well taken care of. The baby is walking now and starting to form a little personality and this comes with a nice and reliable schedule. Basically? Everything has fallen into place. We have hit our stride. We are happy.

Don't you feel warm, fuzzy, and all calm inside?
Yeah, I do did too.

{BAM}

Long story short: a few short weeks ago the ball&chain gets a phone call from his manager. He is doing well in his role, and while the plan was for him to stay in this role for two years, there is an interest for him to interview for a new role. In a different section of the company. This is a great opportunity for him, and by all accounts, who wouldn't be thrilled to be thought of for an exciting role, one that would afford him continued career advancement? By all intensive purposes there is a feeling of pride for my husband. He is good at his job kicks ass. He is sought after. It isn't a bad place to be. Speaking of place to be, where might this new and exciting role be?

It isn't in the comfort of our aforementioned lovely and comfortable home. And not even in this state. And not even in this region of the country (I don't think). Note: we've been here for a year. One year. One month.

Of course, we are moving (quickly) to another state I have never been to.

Ohio.

Cleveland, Ohio.

I know. Cleveland, rocks.



And if that doesn't get you pumped, perhaps this will.*



Yeah, this is what is sent to me. Because, I guess... my friends rock. 

This is not a drill. More later, when I scrape my brain from the walls because BOOM. Head.Explodes.




*disclaimer, I'm not hating on the Cleve. We are really excited. I hear great things about it and it seems to be a really family friendly city with warm neighborhoods, wonderful towns, and all that a young family would like to see offered. I am not, however, excited for everything else that will come with moving. We are excited to explore our new city, just incredibly sad to leave the one we have grown to love in such a short amount of time. I guess I lash out when I'm sad. I have issues, if you've been here before I'm not sure this is a shock. Because if you didn't get the hint - WE JUST FREAKING MOVED HERE. 

Welcome Home, Family. Welcome Home.

And then there was the end.

As one would imagine (or you might have suspected) we do have a home to call our own. OH but it wasn't easy.

Where do you start? How do you solve a problem like moving? I guess I should start from the beginning. (Side note: As I re-read this and spruce it up for (finally) posting this it feels like this happened in another life, not 3 weeks ago. DAMN. This all happened 3 weeks ago?! DAMN.  The following was (mostly) written on our plane ride home... our new home in the STL.)

The only way to move, is to be moved. Having people come in, pack you up and move your stuff is as amazing as it sounds.  I thought it would be stressful, but for real. The. Only. Way. To. Move. (Side note: I've started writing in one word sentences. Get. Ready.) When the driver (of the mack truck, I neglected to take a picture of) showed up, he said he'd be to the STL by Sunday.  Little "thing" about that fact; our flight isn't booked until Tuesday. At first I scrambled, saw about having a friend meet our stuff or one of us changing our flight, but then I realized. HEY. Wait a minute. While I appreciate the fact that this guy hasn't seen his family in weeks; we were moving away from our friends & family for 2 years. Why did we need to reshuffle our lives? I'm thinking when he got into the truck driving business he knew about the travel.

Other than that, even with the husband gone, it was fine. He came home, as scheduled, on Thursday night and did a kick arse job cleaning up.  With his hustle, we were quickly on our way on a 4 day trek across the Northeast.  Our tour was a final "goodbye" to the last of our friends & family that we didn't see over the course of the last few weeks.

Truth: next time we are just going to get on a plane and go - the days of road warriors, not sleeping in our own bed and trekking from home to home is not a good idea. It's the opposite of a good idea. Now? As I write this - on a plane on our way to the STL? It was nice to see as many people as we were able to see.  That said I'm freaking exhausted and frankly I was a crappy guest from house to house, party to party. Whoops. Guess why? I was freaking exhausted. Vicious cycle. Maybe now that it's over, I get that it was a good idea. Maybe. Maybe it's the fact that the ridiculousness of the last few days has already softened a little bit. Maybe.

UPDATE: 3 weeks later? Nope, still exhausted, that was a crazy ass idea. Next time we'll say come on over if you want and leave it at that. Here's how the few days before we moved went.

Friday, we went to the kid's school for her last day. They threw her a goodbye celebration, post lunch snack.  We came and brought ice cream cups to celebrate her last day.  The kids got ice cream and I got a punch to the gut.  The kids put together a scrap book of L and her time at school.  I cried within 2 minutes, husband dearest says 1 minute. I say, I'm busy making a human over here - sorry I couldn't time it.

Sweetest. Present. Ever. 

I don't know that I can thank the parents & teachers adequately for capturing the years she spent there in a little scrap book.  It's always going to mean something special to us because that school is where she became a little girl. She went in a baby, barely speaking, and has come out a curious, smart, funny, precocious little girl.  In addition to an awesome scrap book, the teachers made her a tie dye shirt with everyone's hand print and name.  Lastly, a troll.  The story of the troll, goes a little like this:

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who went to a magical school with creative teachers that would use innocent relics from the 80s like a troll to entertain all the little children.  One child in particular, Princess L, was especially enamored by the troll.  When he would show up in her lunch box, cubby or in the class unexpected it always made her scream & giggle in delight. On days the troll would find its way to her, she would come home more excited than she could contain.

The troll was magical, indeed. Her teachers asked her to take the troll with her to St. Louis, and the Princess was happy to. Her parents were excited to offer up pictures of the trolls adventures as well. L is excited to keep in touch with her class, they will be pen pals for the rest of the school year.  We thought it would be fun to maybe take the troll to the Arch or along on our adventures. It's only been a few days, and I'm thinking Hartford (the troll is now named after his hometown - best we can tell - other than the Made in China tattoo on the bottom of his foot) is going to be a permanent fixture in our everyday.

After presents, we left L at school to nap (she didn't - shock) but she had a better chance at school than she did at the house with no bed. We picked her up (and of course) cried (me, not the kid).  Why did I cry? We were greeted by one of the aids at L's school - she doesn't spend a regular amount of time with our child.  She approached us with tears in her eyes, sincerely, and said, "I just want to thank you for sharing your gift with us. She is a special person."  We said our goodbyes, continued with the tears (behind my sunglasses) and set off for our first stop in our tour: Liza's house.

The kids had an amazing time, despite having to give at least one 'talking to' per child in the 15 hours we were there. They are going to miss each other, as much as their parents will. Shock, I cried. But we did a good job, still, to keep the drama shielded from the kid.  Me more so than Liza.  Sorry girl - you screaming "Isn't this TERRIBLE?!" isn't shielding. I will say, in front of L we talked about how cool our adventure is, as we have been doing for weeks. I'm sure she felt something, but at this point it didn't seem to show for her.

Next stop? Nana Lu's. We headed over to my Aunt Mary Lou's who hosted a BBQ. All was fine & good until the word watermelon came up. True story detour here.  A few short hours later, we were off to Laguardia Airport (which is 30-40 minutes away from where we were) to pick up a rental car.  We had 2 more "glorious" days of our road show and needed a car that went in both directions to complete the mission. We had to go 30-40 minutes away because it was a holiday weekend and it was the closest place open. When we get there? They didn't have our reservation and on the way home, I get lost (surprise). Aren't you exhausted? I was exhausted.

The next day we took a few hours to visit friends we hadn't seen in foreva and while it was excellent to see them - it was sweat your ass off hott and I was F this cranky. Between not sleeping for DAYS, it being one thousand degrees, pregnant, about to move half way across the country and ETC, I was D.O.N.E. The kid had an out of this world time and we did get to spend time with a ton of great friends that I always love seeing and always wish we lived to closer to.  There were wins everywhere - but the weekend is waring on us.  Most certainly me and even the kid. I can tell, at this point, she's starting to feel it all.

We were in the husband's home town now and got to spend some quality time with the family there.  Grammy & Papa time galore, cousin fun, aunts & uncles - all good things. The day after the visit with friends was a lovely day filled with swimming, barbecuing and laughs. Then it was time to leave and say goodbye. I did NOT see this coming.

We go to leave and it's like a scene worthy of a makeover show. People are crying, huddled over, there are tears, fears and DRA-MA.  I half expected someone to fall over in tears, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition style. We were soldiers who have enlisted and are now going off to war. That kind of scene. Like end of days, the world is over, we will never meet again. Grammy & Papa are upset. Aunts & uncles are upset. I'm upset. The husband is upset. And the kid is SO upset... why? Because Dad's upset and as he opens the car door to get the kid in, he smacks her in the face with a steel car door.

Everyone. Is. Crying.

This is NOT the 'let's keep it low key for the kid' kind of goodbye I saw coming. And now, we've physically harmed our own child in the escape process. We head to my mother's house (again) to pick up our damn dog (and get a bite of watermelon, if I'm being honest) and say our goodbyes there. I anticipate she is going to LOOSE HER MIND. Since we just left our departure fit for a warrior (or someone on death row) ... I didn't know how the next hour would go. 

Good news? Nana Lu pulled it together. There was a tear or two, but nothing major. My brother was there, to keep the mood lite as he played "Hero" by Nickleback as we drove off. Bad news? We were not even CLOSE to being in St. Louis yet. We still had to get to a hotel, near the airport. It was estimated to take 45 minutes to get there. It took us close to 3 hours because we kept getting lost (no, I was not driving). At one point my OWN husband told me to, and I quote, "OK, stop talking. No talking, until we get there."  We eventually got there. The stupidity really didn't stop yet, but I'll break it down fast:

• We unpacked our completely packed vehicle. 
• Got the kid to take a bath, get ready for bed & ordered dinner.  
• Dinner never came, despite several calls to follow up. 
• We canceled the order, got chips for dinner and at 11:45 pm dinner showed up.
• No one could sleep. Not the adults. Not the kid. Not the dog. 
• We didn't fall asleep until at least 1 am. 
• The alarm went off at 4 am. 
• We put our dog on a flight. I cried. 
• We saw one of L's teachers (from school) at the airport. I nearly cried. 
• We got on the plane & L was the best passenger on the flight, other than Hartford (her troll). 
• We never received a call from our move's truck driver but when we land, I get an angry message from him. He was angry he's been there since 7 am (CST) and it's now 9:30 am (CST). I'm angry he's angry. No. One. Called. Us. To. Confirm. 
• We get moved in and are home. Home sweet home.

Epilogue

Crashing Napping on the couch the day we moved.
Wearing the same thing today, by the time you read
this one of us are doing the same thing.

Three weeks deep and I can say, we love it. The air is different (when it isn't forming wind tunnels of tornado death) - everything smells different, tastes different, it's different. Even Abelle is different (she survived the flight).  She fell a year ago, and if you didn't read then and want to now, here's the story. The long and short of it is: she fell, we were told to put her down or invest in a 10K surgery and post-op therapy.  We chose neither and she started to heal as much as she would.  A year later she is almost back to normal but still has a bit of a limp and a bit slower than she was a year ago.  She's happy, not in pain (as far as we know) and alive - so it's a win. Here's the thing about Abelle, post flight: she doesn't limp. I thought, at first, it was just the adrenaline from the flight. 3 weeks later, I think STL agrees with her. She loves the space we have (Ditto: our house is 2x the size of our last apartment), she loves our fenced in yard (Ditto: we have spent more time in it over the last 3 weeks than we did in the last yard we had for 2 years) and she likes the central AC (how wouldn't).  We miss a lot about the Northeast, and where we lived, but by in large, change is good. It was needed and it's suiting us well. I think we're going to like it her. We're just EXHAUSTED.