Thursday, June 26, 2008

Broken Elbow

Despite phone calls, IMs and emails - my elbow is not broken. In fact upon further investigation it's barely bruised. It was to paint the picture of my pain - although on second think the most painful part of the story is the fact I had to be fo'carried home.

No Dad, you were not the only person asking - turns out! I was shocked, too!!!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

3 lbs of Train Wreck

This past weekend “Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When you read you begin with A, B, C, when you drink you should start with take it slow. The first three tips just happen to be take it slow."

In true fashion, I didn't follow the steps I should have taken. On Thursday before a meeting for work, it took me away from home. My original thought was, "Sweet - uninterrupted sleep here I come. Early to bed - it's going to be glorious." Why don't I listen to my gut instinct on things? Why do I ignore the cricket on my shoulder pointing me in the right direction?

Thursday night I kicked off the weekend with a wine tasting which went from teeny glasses of tastes of vino - to full glasses and potentially bottles at a time. Tasting vs. binging - there is a fine line (in my head). Results?
  • A fall as I left the gathering - elbow broken*, palm cut up - I woke up with blood all around me. I was mortified thinking I was broken for the day. It turns out the red on all my clothes was not blood, but that goddamn wine.
  • A hiccup attack where I was at one point on all fours on my bed, much to the disappointment to my roommate.
  • The fall left me vulnerable and I needed a little support for the walk home ( I needed to be carried, guided, steered home).
While I gloriously and miraculously didn't have residual effects through out the following day - god bless the literal constant flow of water, diet coke & ginger ale - I decided to go into Friday as a woman on a mission. Keep it calm, keep it cool and take it slow. Bottom line? C went out for a beer run at one point, returning with 3 cases of beer. 3. We had one in the fridge at the start of our casual dinner. I should note, there were 8 of us - but we also killed 4 bottles of wine (I passed). Take it slow, I think not. Out of control? Not at all! Leona didn't want us to cash in our fun chips - and who could blame her? We had a big day ahead, and frankly I needed some good ol'rest.

The crew was in from NYC - Dr. Love & Leona and Shaniqua came in from the 'Burbs - all came with their ball and chains. It was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be tour de'Boston it was supposed to be like the good ol'day with the added loves - hoping they too would fall in love as we have. Now here is the thing - we did have a kick ass time, we did see portions of Boston - more specifically the bar tops of Beantown, and there was a lot of man crushing happening. The unfortunate piece was that around 4 pm the lot of us were gone. Gone to the 'other side' never to return. The timing is a little fuzzy - much like the memories. We began the day at brunch - the boys ordered cocktails and Leona gave the business- why start now? What's the rush? How I laughed, oh how I thought, why not start spending the fun chips. Oh how I was so wrong. So very wrong. Long (12 hour) story short - brunch was followed by beers, which was followed by a tour of Fenway, which was followed by more beers. Then it was game time - where we sat in our seats for less than 2 innings (I think). We left the seats to join the boys at the bar in Fenway. Left the bar in Fenway to go to another bar. Tickets to the game = the most expensive cover I have ever paid to drink. Only being beat by a New Years Eve party, maybe, but it's hard to compare because at least there was open bar. No such luck at Fenway.

We drank pitchers out of straws (how I missed my girl KW). It got fuzzy. Real fuzzy. We went to a crab shack - a favorite of the Lizzanes and the Guarros - Barking Crab. Good cheap fun... we boasted. Unless you don't ask the market price of lobster & crabs. FYI: it ain't cheap. 3 of us got 3 lb lobsters. Who orders 3 lb lobsters? Drunken hungry fools that's who. Me, that's who.

We had a grand ol'time looking back now but we totally could have done with a keg or two less of the hooch. From there we headed out to another bar - shocker. The night ended shortly there after - and none too soon. The grand finale being a stint in a grass patch (potentially a parking lot? Again, not sure) where a few of us made snow angels in the grass. We stumbled home at 1 am (15 hours of being out) and walked right past Nana Lu's. She was in for the weekend to spend time with the kid and be an on call babysitter. And thanks be - if she didn't come to babysit we would have had to sell the kid on eBay because between the kegs, the meals we ate in and out & the lobastahs we are cleaned out!

Worst thing we did? We snuck in. We didn't let her know Mother Coleman (aka Nana Lu) we were home. We didn't mean to, but once we were upstairs and had no monitor to fear, why mess with that? It turns out the monitor died. Luckily with her ears like a bat Mother Coleman heard the babe talking in the morning when she woke up, at 6 am. Luckily we did not - and we were able, if even for a few hours, sleep and not think about the day before. It wasn't until 2 showers later I got the stench of the lobstahs out of my ring and the carnage that became the day faded in my memory. We were a train wreck, the whole lot of us. A 3 lb train wreck.

Click album cover below to see the early hours, a little of the journey but none of the darkness ...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


As expected there are several things that no one mentioned (or they did and I didn't believe them) about becoming a mom - and as usual I'm not resting until I get the word out.

Unbelievable true fact numero uno - mobile children are cute as all get out but not fun. A mobile child is by definition movable, and weebels wobble but these will fall down. Fall down, roll over, bonk their heads, flip off the couch, teeter into walls and get into mischief. Corners of the table, underneath beds, outlets and things. Hair, dust, fuzz balls, paper, cds, dvds, books, magazines - if you can pull it and rip it then it passes the test. Babies on the move can get to all of these things and more. The morning routine of having a happy baby play on the bed while I shower and get ready is a thing of the past - she believes with eye contact she can just get to you and ignores the 3 foot drop between the two of us on her way to me. She still hasn't mastered the crawl and has given up on tripping over her ankles. Now she sticks her booty into the air, looks like a tee pee then falls to one side or another. She throws in a roll now and then and moves through the room and gets to where she wants to f up get to! Not fun. But super cute.

If it happens gradually so be it, I am Numero due ... hair. I shower and on the daily I fear one of two things - someone has switched my shampoo with Nair - mimicking some terrible joke gone array that you only see on sitcoms that feature inner monologue spotlights. Second fear is walking out of the shower completely becoming accustom to the possibility of being bald or with a bald spot. All in one shot? The way the last few weeks have been going I wouldn't be surprised.

Last lesson - for today is the fact that there are unbelievable rewards. Seriously - unbelievable. It's can be a thankless job, specifically when the babe can't talk - not a lot of niceties. No please, no thank you. Skip the kid. Everyone has advice, thoughts, 2 cents. Preggers was one thing - but bring a baby into the equation and people can be straight up intruding. I never thought it would possible, but I'd like to hear more about strangers birth plan and skip the lessons of parenthood. And this isn't crazy controlling ma peeing on her territory - I'm talking minding your business. All the bullshit, nosey, judgey, ohmygodhowisLsurviving comments is gone with a giggle, coo or rambling. The crying & fussiness POOF disappears with a hug or a cuddle. She grabs now and while sometimes she'll break skin and kind of hurt something - she just wants to be close and it makes it all worth it. The junk in my trunk, the sometimes heavy eyes and early morning wake ups (OH how I miss sleeping late) I forget about it all (momentarily) with just one smile.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Mom Jeans BE GONE!

You watched the progression from baby to bump and now bump to booty. With 8 months out - it's time to watch the bump plump be gone . Today is day 2 in operation fat attack (o.f.a). I won't be posting pictures of the metamorphosis (inner monologue: please let it be a metamorphosis) - but I'm throwing it out there and say it's go time. We've got a center set up - meals planned, vegetables to be cut and water to be guzzled. I'm talking we're choosing a photo to aspire to return to, a pair of clothing to get back into, %s will be marked and a weigh in on the regular. Mamas got some jeans to fit into - and not mom jeans. Mom jeans are a sad but true fact of life. Originally I was convinced it was a choice not fate to wear the high rising wide coverage tight ankle beauts. I have once again been proven wrong - you grossly underestimate the damage a beautiful little baby can do on your ass - no matter what people tell you. And maybe you'll you'll be lucky and be back in your prepreggs jeans in record time, or need to lose lbs in the single digits... and maybe I just hate you. For this fatass - it's diet time.

Monday, June 16, 2008

June 08

8 months - she's almost been out as long as she was in. TMI? Maybe - but it's the damn truth.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Rolling With The Homies

Turns out our kid has an ear for rap - true story. C mentioned that when driving with her if she freaks he puts on a little 94.5 and boom she is good to go - it soothes the beast. Last week we journeyed to the 'Burgh and then CT and wouldn't you know we needed to test out the theory.

Miles to go before we eat and no need for a diaper change what to do? Whining at an all time high and stress levels high... throw in a little Kane and let it ride! As soon as she heard the sweet sounds of Graduation she stopped whining immediately. Big fan of that Kane West, but who isn't other than MTV? Today I came home and her hip hop persona continued to develop.

Bah bah bah
Throw yo hands up in the air - wave yo’binks in the air like you just don’t care – say YEAH!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Abelle's Nutrition

All the hullabaloo in the beginning to bfeed or not to - the pushing the prodding the requests will I will I not... the pressure doesn't end nor does the judging. Months later. Nutrition is tough - L quit the hooch a little after 6 months. Cold turkey for the most part - she really wanted no part of it. It was a grand run and I did all I could, but at a certain point it was time to hang up my hooter hider and call it a night. Why fight with her about it? Houston we have a problem... what the heck to feed her?

We started to feed her, with every chapter read in books & hand outs from the doctors - 'by the book.' We started with rice, which is not actually rice - it looks like instant mashed potatoes but not really. Then every 3 days we would add a new food - and wait 3 days. Me being all concerned of potential allergic reactions - we'd stretch the 3 day rule. Each week a new food - and never mixing rice with the new food until the 3 day clear. Carrots, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, peas, avocados, bananas, mangos, delicious... and all fresh. Yup. We went hippy - fresh fruits and veggies. Pureed then frozen... in ice cube trays. In the freeze, then in little baggies - and voila. Fresh, yummy meals ready to go whenever L was in the need some nourishment. How easy. How fun. How soon it all ended.

Somewhere between Memorial Day and last weekend she has decided to quit soft mushed foods. Try to come up with 3 meals a day with out using mushy food but keeping in mind the kid has 2 teeth. It isn't easy - out the window has gone that 3 day period with one new food a week. Now - if she eats it it's hers. Pickles, chicken soup, pasta, toast, cookies... whatever! Planning meals has never been so difficult - if only she could let a sister know what the hell she felt like eating - maybe someday. Until then I'll continue to throw things on the tray and see if it takes. If she throws it on the floor it's Abelle's dinner - if not we have a shot in hell in getting a meal down!
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