Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Santa baby, just slip a gift card under the tree, for me...

Disclaimer: I'm a hypocrite.*
*While I usually do my disclaimers at the end of a post, I have to start by saying I recognize how hypocritical the following is going to be. I can only attribute the need to type this to the new understanding on how weird and wrong I was. 

photo credit: random google images search -
 specific site may or may not have a weird loop hole to
serious dirty pictures thus not siting here, sorry. 

Needed the picture not the crotch shots  & my own editing fun
I have a new suggestion for the holidays. Let's all bring a stack of cash to our respective holiday gatherings. Let's keep it classy, and stay away from singles.  In the spirit of the holidays which has clearly turned into exchanging cash, let's just keep it simple. What you give me I'll give you. Why not? Right? That's what Santa had in mind. The rumors of Santa's little helpers making toys is clearly just that: rumors. 

I don't know, call me old fashion, but isn't gift giving about giving someone something they wouldn't normally purchase on their own? A gift is something special? Maybe something they need? I looked it up, I'm right - something acquired without compensation. Isn't exchanging cash compensation?

The holidays are out of control.  As a gift giver for nieces, nephews, cousins, parents, partners, brothers, sisters, child and sometimes etc; it is becoming clear that we have lost our focus. When your own wallet is affected it hits home faster, I guess. 
I know I have asked for gift cards in the past, as suggestions, giving stores I frequent. The older I get the more I realize that was wrong and I apologize. Now that I am older and I have a TON of people requesting straight up cash and/or gift cards from me I realize how freaking ridiculous I was. I can only say that I was younger and didn't realize what a complete boob I was being. Also, I think I asked my parents for said gift cards - which feels less wrong to me.  I was trying to make things easier, as necessary since apparently no one understands or knows me. Apparently, I'm the world's most difficult person to shop for (I find this almost hilarious since anyone who REALLY knows me should know what I like).  

Maybe the reason I hate gift cards the most is because you can't sneak in deals.  The gift receiver knows just how much you spent. How is that fun? I like to hide my frugal prowess behind gifts that look more expensive than they are.  Maybe that's wrong? Gift giving shouldn't be about the skill to spend the least amount of money possible, right? Although I don't know - the Target woman seems to believe saving is the key to the happiest of holidays.

I do appreciate Christmas lists.  When asked, what do you need or any special requests - I get that you could give someone an idea of what you have your eye on; I'll take that.  I can also accept responsibility for being horrible at this.  Providing people with what I want or need is NOT a strength. I'm actually pretty horrible at it.   With out spending everyday with someone you may not know what they have their eye on. Hell, I spend every single day with the ball and chain and all he wants are socks. Seriously: socks. That's it.  After being stumped last year, I started a note with in my iPhone that was an ongoing list of thoughts for gift ideas - for him, for the kid, for me. Knowing that Thanksgiving would come and shortly after that the on slot of requests for "the" Christmas list.  Oh how I miss the days of checking out the Toys R Us catalog folding down the pages of all the things I absolutely 
needed Santa to bring me.  I thought my plan was fool proof; what a fool I was.  There were a few small things I wrote down this year as SOON as I hear him mutter, "that's cool."  Unfortunately, I gave those secrets away and I am left with nothing and literally almost NO clue on what to get. It's not fair. I am so freaking easy. He is the hardest person to buy for, but does he ask for gift cards? No, he does not.  Do I wish I could give him gift cards? Yes,  sometimes.  Though since my money is his and vice versa - that would be even more hilarious than the gift card fever going on in my neck of the woods. 

What happened to giving the person the chance to "get it right" and hopefully they give you a gift receipt.  Side note:  anyone who does not provide a gift receipt is re-gifting OR trying to make your life difficult, in my opinion.  Re-gifting? Seriously, good for you but you better be making a safe bet otherwise why even give anything? Seriously.  Making my life difficult? Why? What did I do to you? 

OK back to the point, let's say the person doesn't get it right and they provide you with a gift that won't work for you. Perhaps the size isn't quite right or you already have that brooch or game?  Then, with the receipt you can quietly make your gift card dreams come true by way of returning. How fun is it really to open up envelopes with gift cards and nothing else?

The bitch of this whole tirade is (well there are a few things): 
  1. My mother is going to automatically assume I am talking about her.  It's not you - it's the idea and spirit behind Christmas that I am finding particularly annoying. This is a pattern I have noticed Christmas wide, not on any particular side or person. Also, you didn't ask for gift cards, you asked for black socks. Seriously? Who asks for socks for Christmas? OH yeah, my husband - perpetuating the issue here. 
  2. If anyone got me a gift card, I am pretty sure they haven't even gotten this far as they are on the way back to the store. That is not the point. I like gift cards. I think they are effective and important. I love receiving them. I think they are a smart gift idea when you are stumped. What I do not like is how they are taking over the holidays and people are solely requesting gift cards. That's my issue. Give me my damn gift card. 
  3. If I got a list of stores you like (not you, Mom, I'm talking to any gift requester) and sizes, as requested - perhaps I would end up going with a gift card inside a small thing from that store. It would be my choice and I would feel more in control of the gift.  (Maybe this clearly is my own issue then? Nah.) Instead of just asking for cash? 
Does no one see how ridiculous the holidays are becoming? Also, besides gift cards, what should I get the ball & chain. Seriously. It's gift cards all day long with out some kind of direction. 

*Final disclaimer, I am hesitant to hit "publish post" because I am always misunderstood.  Also, I want the gift cards I know that have already been purchased for me. I will leave you (now I am talking to you Mom) with this: grain of salt. Take what I say with a grain of salt. 99.9% of what I say is mostly meant for the laugh of it all.  Sarcasm may be the language of the devil, but it makes me giggle and (jokingly) complaining is the name of my game. If you can't handle it (now I'm talking to anyone who takes the post personally, not just you, Mom) with out meaning to sound like a total and complete Grinch: I would suggest loosing this URL. I need to be me here and I need you to understand me and not take it all so seriously. That's what I want for Christmas - that and gift cards. 

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