Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Only Way to Travel

From 5/9/08... in flight from Boston - Miami (seventh circle of hell):
As I type I am quite possibly the happiest girl in the entire world. I type with my fabulous new computer (stay tuned) propped (yes propped) on top of my gorgeous little girl as she sleeps through the final hour of our first leg of our trip.

Some things to note of our first leg of the trip:
  • First class is clearly the only way to travel. Coach is for suckers.
  • Drinking & flying = a happy Christoph and for this I am happy.
  • Cute baby does not equal welcoming faces - but due to the free booze and extra leg room I couldn't care less. Eat it snobbies - that's what I said (under my breath)
In said Seventh Circle of Hell:
Oh how the tide turns so quickly. Upon landing from said best leg ever I witnessed some AA idiot kicking the strollers up the stairs- luckily mine came up ‘unharmed’ or so I thought. It wasn’t until we were ¾ of the way to our next gate that I realized that our cup holder had been taken prematurely. My trip has gone from great to horrific as I think about trekking through the heat with no ability to rest my water bottle, baby bottle or more importantly bottle of beer. C went back to reclaim our luxury. He claims he tried to get ‘the woman’ to go down and get the stupid cup holder, but aggressive is not something I would call my dear partner i life. He said, he used ‘sass’. Direct quote, ‘sass.’ I ask you if any amount of sass would make a difference.

I asked if he made her cry – he did not and my reply was, ‘Not good enough. You didn’t try hard enough. I should have gone myself.’ Vacation, good feeling skip we’re so happy comes to a screeching halt – vacation distressing takes 4 steps back the second those bastards lost my cup holder. Vacation stealers. And what the hell is going on in Miami? Did it float off of the United States and become a new country. Does no one speak English? At the very least enunciate their broken English? The entirety of airport staff here sound like they have marbles in their mouth. If you aren’t going to speak the language (of the country you speak in) if you could pronounce the words you are speaking in your own language while I wouldn’t understand you any better- at least it wouldn’t sound like nails on a chalk board and agitate me even more.

Back in the safe and warm comfort of First Class – Seventh Circle of Hell direct to Paradise:
It may have been the cup holder or the 40 minutes with out cocktails, warm nuts or hot towels – because as soon as we (I) sat down in my big roomy first class seat the cup holder was a distant memory. There is no other way to travel – and sadly with the baby at the very least, we can never travel in the cheapseats again.
  • In first class they bring you drink after drink – the flight time flies by when you are celebrating happy hour. Everyone is happy – it’s happy hour.
  • There is so much legroom the kid had her own little play area – all be it on the floor. She loved it.
  • Easy on and easy off your flights (when you don't have to wait for your busted stroller.
All in all the trip to Aruba was fantastic - the long wait for our massive luggage could have been better- as we sat and thought the baby's car seat was gone and lost forever we realized first class couldn't guarantee complete happiness. Everything arrived, nothing else broken. Just my heart when I tried to lodge a compliant about the stroller- which is what C's sass got him, advice to put in a report when we got here. Guess what? Strollers are unable to be claimed. Of course. We almost died on the cab ride from the airport and arrived into a seedy weird casino - but that's a story for another time.

More on our vacation later.... while I have an Internet connection and writing fun for me -it's not fun for the ball and chain - and lord knows I don't want him to get sassy with me.

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