Monday, June 14, 2010

Crisis of Faith

Transparency is a funny thing. I'm fine being transparent - or so I would like to think so. There are times though, where I come to a cross roads and I'm not entirely sure. Enter in Facebook privacy controls.

Here's the background. I've been blogging for 3 years, on Facebook for at least 2 years? Not sure - but before that I think I was on Friendster and even MySpace. Remember those crazy bastards? Anyway - I didn't put it all out there, but mostly.  I don't know that I censored. If I did, I didn't notice as much as I notice now. 

I feel the censoring, in everything I put out there - for better or worse. Sometimes (most times) I don't filter what I say live - so it's partly surreal.  You have to give me credit, well I guess you don’t have to but I certainly give myself credit.  It’s a better idea to do that then go balls to the wall and run my mouth on the wacky world wide web to live forever.  

My principles are being tested and my opinions on this subject may not be where you are, but I’m here.  There could be a few schools of thought on this – I’m many things; including an extremist we’ll go with two.
  • Be authentic – be who you are. Own it. The good, the bad, the ugly. FTW.  If you aren’t at your best, it’s you so be you.
  • Be representative – you are who you are associated with. Be mindful. Who you are is connected to those around you – be it family, friends, associations, involvement, organizations you work with or work for, companies, etc. Be your best self.
One might say there is a middle ground, but I don’t want to play in gray here.

My heart says FTW but my head sometimes says to be my best(ish) self.  I usually go with my heart 9 times out of 10 but I think about it more lately.  Speaking from the heart, here it goes.

Take for example Facebook.  It rocks my world. I am probably hidden by most people, I can be an over poster, but I try to check myself (being my best (ish) self) but sometimes my inner tourettes has got to get out. Plus I can be clever sometimes and I need to share. My kid says goofy things and I need to share. My luck sucks wind and I need to share.  I freaking love comments back (ah um, comments on the blog rock much more, ahh UM) and all the back and forth. Frankly, it helps stay in touch and is single-handedly putting the phrase “What’s new?” into retirement. And helps to cut down on unnecessary phone calls or calls you don’t have time for because you know what’s up.  I think this last fact here is the reason why those who hate it, hate it most – but it’s one of my favorite parts.  True story. I’ll defend why on another day.

Side note:  I hate “what’s new?” … and yes I recognize if we do talk I’m a user of what’s new. It’s mostly my filler while I think of a specific question. Busted. Transparent. Balls to wall.

Now due to my over posting tendencies and over sharing addiction I was hesitant to share my account and open the door to people I know through my full time job.  I kept my maiden name as my profile name to avoid being ‘found.'

Side note: I wasn’t really ‘known’ by my married name at this point so that was kind of doofy. 

I didn’t approve friendship requests and when I did there were more privacy restrictions on my account it would have been easier to hack into the mainframe of … well something well protected.  And I would over complicate it so much, then I would protect things in a way I didn't even intend. I can't win.  Finally, I opened the floodgates.  It turns out many of my very best friends I met through work, so why segregate? The need to censor - beyond what I (sometimes) remember to do knowing family is watching - the blurring lines.  It has become clear that this whole facebook and twitter is not a fad and we were starting to incorporate it in our communication, customer service and marketing efforts.  In terms of blogging I mean if you want to know something about me or my life, use the search box. You'll get more than a chit chat session.   This is where the voice in my head starts to talk a little louder. I can't help it though, "the heart wants what the heart wants."

Recently I’ve wholeheartedly adopted my FTW embrace. Maybe the fact that I just quoted a man in love with his daughter should prove something to me, but this is who I am. I could curse less. I could be more half glass full type of girl - but would I be me? I'm struggling. As the lines of professional and personal lives officially blur what's a girl to do?

What do you do?
Is this thing on?


  1. Hey Jenn,

    What's new?! I think you do a great job of following your principles. You might be one of the most authentic people I know, but you also always have a great moral compass!

    I have to admit I censor myself when it comes ot updates about work. So many INSANE things happen here but I am hesistant to post about them *most* of the time.

    Anyway - I enjoy your postings so keep telling it like it is...

  2. You are the best damn tapper when you are yourself, girl. Keep it up!

  3. Thanks all!
    Kdog you make me blush.
    MyMy Most smartest.


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