Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Lessons in Backseat Parenting

Sometimes L takes SO long we have to flat leave her at the dinner table. I know that seems harsh, but with an audience it could take hours.  If we rush her in the moment and tell her to finish up - there will be no less than 5 choking scares. The rule is - adults can leave early, kids have to wait until the adults are done. May not seem fair, but it's our kingdom. We all eat, at a normal pace. Sit for a few minutes, but then it's time to clean up and get on with the night. We'll leave her and tell her she has to finish up.  This time, her Daddy stuck around with her - he picked up a magazine and I left the table.  I was close, in the living room, so I could hear the conversation. This is how it went:

L: "Get away from the table, Asshole."
Me: (trying to remain calm, not really successful - from the living room) "WHAT'D YOU SAY?"
L: "Get away, Asshole."

I waited for the ball & chain to spring into action, he was parent on duty - closest distance to the kid therefore it's on him to discipline. But alas, I hear no movement to that end, just a flip of a paper - is he really that into whatever magazine he's reading through?

Me: (to myself) "Do not backseat parent. Do not backseat parent. Do not backseat parent."

Me: (aloud, trying not to sound like an asshole: ironic) "Are you seriously going to let her talk like that?"
The ball & chain: "Like what? Should she say please?"
Me: (trying to remain calm, somewhat successful) "What did she just say?"
The ball & chain: "Get away from the table, Abelle." (The dog, if you aren't familiar.  The way she says it is like "Ana-BOWL" and really fast, I swear, all I hear now is asshole.)

Me: "Yeah, right, I guess no please is necessary...."

I passed along what I heard. Apparently I was wrong; way wrong, I can be such an Abelle sometimes.

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