Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Good Talk Bad Talk

My baby grew up. When did that happen? Our oldest, turning four in a mere hours by the time this is posted is growing up faster than I might like. It's happening everywhere in every way and when I least expect it. Example: I brought her to a birthday party - her first in the area.  It was another first for her: I was to leave. 

I think there was one other parent there, might have been a neighbor? But all the other parents? Left. Gone. 

I was frantic.  At first the kid was clingy and shy but within seconds she had found a friend from her class and while confused that I would leave (because I had never left her at a friends before let alone a party) she was fine with it.  Me? I was not. I was totally freaked but I left anyway, because I'm not going to that parent hovering over her, when everyone else left.

What's a girl to do? I called my mom.

My fear was this: sometimes L gets upset - for what would seem like 'no reason.'  Example - kids accidentally bonk into each other. She accidentally hurts someone... the other kid- who ACTUALLY got hurt - cries.  L then cries because she feels bad that she hurt the other kid and/or she is so embarrassed and/or overwhelmed and she cries.  I don't know where she gets that from {looks around innocently}...

I was so afraid, she was going to get overwhelmed, cry, and since the other kids so much more mature? I don't know - I thought it would carry over in school or something (mean girls exist and they start at 3. FYI) and she is so jammed right now about making friends - I was nervous for her. Yes I realize these are all messed up sentence structures, ongoing and don't make sense - but I think they paint the picture of my insanity thought process. 

So back to the story at hand:
I call my mom... to just be like, "Can you believe it? She's 4! They have drop off parties already? I had no idea!"  
Her response?
First thing she says?
"Have you had the good touch, bad touch conversation yet??"


Here I am, worried she might cry or just have a weird social moment ... and now that's escalated to possible molestation.

What's a girl to do? I had a beer at 2pm. 

That night, C & I decided to attack the "good touch bad touch" conversation - completely unprepared. I have 2-3 reference books to choose from that likely touch upon this subject (ba-dum-cha) or I don't know the world wide web?  There has to be an about.com page on how to talk to kids about this? Perhaps a youtube.com video? Nah - we go at it - totally unprepared and frankly I'll be surprised if we didn't scar her. In related news: this whole parenting gig is difficult. How the hell are we not required to have some kind of operating license to do it?


  1. ugh. we do the talk every month. its fun. Specially when i get to the part about asking them if anyone has tried to touch them in their private parts or asked them to touch theirs. Yup. total stomach in throat moment.
    So far so clear.
    fyi, been doing "the talk" for several years and did a post about it on the ol' blog.
    Good for you for taking the plunge.

  2. We're on it - and I love your post - I had to go back and do a little search for anyone else interested: http://actualmom.com/2011/05/preventing-my-kids-from-becoming-a-statistic/


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