Wednesday, June 18, 2008


As expected there are several things that no one mentioned (or they did and I didn't believe them) about becoming a mom - and as usual I'm not resting until I get the word out.

Unbelievable true fact numero uno - mobile children are cute as all get out but not fun. A mobile child is by definition movable, and weebels wobble but these will fall down. Fall down, roll over, bonk their heads, flip off the couch, teeter into walls and get into mischief. Corners of the table, underneath beds, outlets and things. Hair, dust, fuzz balls, paper, cds, dvds, books, magazines - if you can pull it and rip it then it passes the test. Babies on the move can get to all of these things and more. The morning routine of having a happy baby play on the bed while I shower and get ready is a thing of the past - she believes with eye contact she can just get to you and ignores the 3 foot drop between the two of us on her way to me. She still hasn't mastered the crawl and has given up on tripping over her ankles. Now she sticks her booty into the air, looks like a tee pee then falls to one side or another. She throws in a roll now and then and moves through the room and gets to where she wants to f up get to! Not fun. But super cute.

If it happens gradually so be it, I am Numero due ... hair. I shower and on the daily I fear one of two things - someone has switched my shampoo with Nair - mimicking some terrible joke gone array that you only see on sitcoms that feature inner monologue spotlights. Second fear is walking out of the shower completely becoming accustom to the possibility of being bald or with a bald spot. All in one shot? The way the last few weeks have been going I wouldn't be surprised.

Last lesson - for today is the fact that there are unbelievable rewards. Seriously - unbelievable. It's can be a thankless job, specifically when the babe can't talk - not a lot of niceties. No please, no thank you. Skip the kid. Everyone has advice, thoughts, 2 cents. Preggers was one thing - but bring a baby into the equation and people can be straight up intruding. I never thought it would possible, but I'd like to hear more about strangers birth plan and skip the lessons of parenthood. And this isn't crazy controlling ma peeing on her territory - I'm talking minding your business. All the bullshit, nosey, judgey, ohmygodhowisLsurviving comments is gone with a giggle, coo or rambling. The crying & fussiness POOF disappears with a hug or a cuddle. She grabs now and while sometimes she'll break skin and kind of hurt something - she just wants to be close and it makes it all worth it. The junk in my trunk, the sometimes heavy eyes and early morning wake ups (OH how I miss sleeping late) I forget about it all (momentarily) with just one smile.

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