Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The Best Laid Plans

9 28 2007
10:55 pm

Weighing in at 10 lbs 14.8 oz and 22.25 inches....
(that's just about 11 lbs and 2 feet!)

L Avery Guarro*

It was a long road, beyond the 10 months- the story and journey of how L arrived is one that is like no other. I will certainly put that together- at some point but over the last week there has been so much to take in. So much to learn- and so much to think about.

Last week, on Wednesday at 8:30 pm we arrived to Mass General Hospital to be induced, to get "this party" started. Walking in there- I didn't know what I was walking into. Looking back- I'm not sure how we got here.

We welcomed a beautiful baby girl late Friday night. She is absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and perfect in almost every way. During her time, as she stubbornly stayed put in this little home I made for her- she got sick. She swallowed meconium and has developed Meconium Aspiration Syndrome (MAS).

Typically this has been the place where we put down our thoughts- and they are usually sarcastic, usually pretty funny- if I'm being honest, and always light. That's part of the reason you have been looking here for an update and not finding anything.

Like our class did prepare us- plans can go another way and the way you thought things were going to go may not take that path. I guess they know what they are talking about.

L is in the NICU here at MGH- a fantastic resource that I wish I never had to learn about. With her MAS, she has to be sedated, because she is so strong she is pulling out her tubes, monitors and not letting the ventilator does it's job. Everyone we talk to down there says she is a fighter, stubborn or feisty. She is the boss! Everyone we talk to that knows us says she already takes after me. But if I'm being honest, I'm not feeling as strong as I need L to be. We need her to fight and be strong. I don't know when I'll have an update- but while the first night we were thinking this was just a prevention thing- it is turning out in reality to be a serious situation. They have to remove the bile from her lungs, as more than swallowing it- it has gotten into her lungs. She is in a great ward- the NIC unit here is not only beautiful- but it the place they bring other infants when they are in trouble- the unit/specialist here are supposed to be fantastic. Everyone has been very nice and I trust that she is getting the best medical attention possible.

It is safe to say we have never been so scared. I know I joked around a lot and "hated the journey" but now isn't supposed to be happening like this. We should have the baby in our room, she should be keeping us up all night, I should be joking around about this part. Truly, it's not fair. We just want to know for certain that everything is going to be perfect- because even with all the tubes, etc she is so beautiful and looks perfect.

Everyone keeps telling us that this is not as uncommon as you would think and I know she is in good hands here- she has her very own nurse 24 hrs a day- and like I said is a fighter. We are loved - and I know and appreciate that- but I need that love shared to for people to have all that good wishing and prayers- if that's what they do- thinking and praying for L and making her better. Whatever people do at times like this- we want and need it.

While this isn't the update you're used to getting- it's our update. This has always been a therapeutic way to express what is going on - and while I didn't intend to have to use it to give medical updates for our beautiful baby girl, like I started with, 'the best laid plans..."

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent. And crazy people.


  1. Dear Lilli,
    You might not know this now, but you have the best parents in the world. They love you with all of their hearts and souls. Your mom keeps saying how much of a fighter you are so keep fighting your way through this so that you can go home to your comfy new crib. Everyone can't wait to meet you! Love, Sarah Sandler and Family :)

  2. YAY!!Thank you for the update j- Thinking of you all- and have been keeping Lilli in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to do so.....all the best! xoxoxo


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