Friday, May 28, 2010


Shortly after we discovered our mouse problem, I came home to a ringing room line.  The University’s Residential office was calling to inform us that we were being evacuated. Apparently the walls of the entire quad were filled with field mice.  The only way they could address the problem was to bomb the whole block of student housing. We were being asked to stay “with a friend” or a hotel.  A hotel the University would not reimburse for.  I fought with the idiot in the Residential Living Office claiming that it was the University’s responsibility.  I don’t remember how we got off the phone, but I remember being a real asshole to make a point.  None of my roommates were home, but knowing their love for sleep and their dislike for sharing; bunking with friends would not be an option.  Maybe we could all split a hotel room? All I knew is I had to pack, I didn’t want to be rushed and as soon as they came home and heard that the wall was full of mini beasts we’d be in my car before I had a chance to grab what I needed.   I pictured the scene as if the house was on fire - they would run screaming through out the quad with no hope for rationalization.

I didn’t take late classes, as I preferred to be home earlier.  My roommates liked to sleep until noon or have ample hours of designated nap time during the afternoon so I was always home first.  As I waited on the couch with my duffel bag packed and ready to go, I sat  in silence waiting for the crew to get home and tried to listen for the bastards taking over our wall linings. 

This was before cell phones, archaic I know.  It felt like I was waiting for hours when now I could have sent a text, updated a status or started a group “My apartment is taken over by mice!” Before all that technology was available we did crazy things like knock on doors. I wanted to see what the rest of the quad was going; we should all go together- try to get a group rate or something.  I started knocking on my neighbor’s door – to my surprise that bitch from Res Life hadn’t yet called everyone. I chalked it up to her trying to figure out the finance part. Before she had to deal with more angry students.  I let my neighbors know of the infestation and how we had to leave tonight, etc etc. As soon as I finished being the bearer of bad news for at least 2-3 apartments full of people I headed home and was greeted by my roommates. I dropped the bad news.  Instead of the historically comedic reaction I was counting on from Shaniqua I was met with denial.  NO one believed me – they said I must be joking.  Why would I lie about this? I explained I just went through the quad informing anyone who was home. Call the office for yourself! 

Then the phone rang.  

Maybe it was my cold reaction to Shaniqua’s fears of having mice parasites take over her intestines or maybe Tia Maria* couldn’t miss out on the fun. On the phone was a high school friend of Emilita & Shaniqua, Tia Maria.  Calling to let them in on the fun she just had with me.  Mrs. Whoever from the Res Life office was our very own Tia Maria  calling from her dorm room to have some fun. Prank calls are the genetic gift given to all of their home town's residents. There were no mice in the walls, there was no extermination, I didn’t need to pack up for the weekend – I needed to go through the quad and take back what I had just explained – if only I could have text them, updated my status or sent an email.


  1. In an effort to edit this original post I had to delete the comment... since I'm hard up for comments I'm cutting and pasting this piece.

    Kate said...

    LOL! Classic.
    May 28, 2010 11:21 AM

  2. Thats funny. You were nice to wait for your room mates. some would have got the hell out of there at the mere mention of mice ~ yuck!
    I know its sad that the art of prank calling is destoryed by caller id. Pranks have to be more sophisticated now, which is why we had to involve Ashton Kutcher.

  3. This tia girl is very clever!


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